Saturday Night Live/Scarlett Johansson/Björk

Scarlett Johansson/Björk
Season 32, Episode 18
Airdate	April 21, 2007
Production Number	1489
Written by	Seth Meyers Andrew Steele Paula Pell (head writers) Doug Abeles James Anderson Alex Baze James Downey Charlie Grandy Steve Higgins Colin Jost Erik Kenward John Lutz Lorne Michaels Matt Murray Marika Sawyer Akiva Schaffer Robert Smigel John Solomon Emily Spivey Jorma Taccone Bryan Tucker Robert Smigel Matt O'Brien Louis CK (cartoon)
Directed by	Don Roy King
← 32x17 Shia LaBeouf/Avril Lavigne	32x19 → Molly Shannon/Linkin Park
Saturday Night Live — Season Thirty-Two

Scarlett Johansson/Björk is the eighteenth episode of the thirty-second season of Saturday Night Live, and the six hundred and twenty-fifth episode overall. It is the second appearance for both the host and musical guest (solo).

Guest Stars: Scarlett Johansson (Host), Björk (Musical Guest)

Special Guests: Chuck Schumer (Himself)

Episode Breakdown

• Presidential Press Conference: President George W. Bush (Sudeikis) comments on the recent hearings regarding the firings of 10 US Senators and Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez's testimony. Bush explains that the hearings are over and as far as the White House is concerned, the entire case is over and allows questions from the press. "Big Jim" (Forte) says that the issue has not actually been resolved, but Bush insists that the White House is willing to comply with the committee's work but only if they try to question his maintenance staff. Tony (Hader) asks what maintenance workers could possibly say to help with the investigation, but Bush dodges it by insinuating that Tony is an elitist. "Sneezy" (Thompson), who was given an incorrect nickname by Bush but doesn't mind, tries to ask a question about Karl Rove or Harriet Myers being subpoenaed by the committee, but Bush keeps switching back to the nickname topic until relenting. He explains that his staff can appear, but only if they can ask the senators questions and not the other way around. Janet (Rudolph) makes it known that the senate Democrats aren't going to yield to the White House's restricting demands. Bush tries to give everything to the senate, as long as the aides can write the questions themselves. He again suggests using the book of riddles and brainteasers and gives an example from the book. Susan (Wiig) spoke with Senator Chuck Schumer and lets Bush know which demands he will not budge on, which includes a lengthy description about which senate, what people and which god those people swear under oath to so that Bush can't weasel out of it through a loophole. Bush insists that he and his aides are going to Crawford until Thanksgiving so they can't be questioned. He tries to start the show, but is interrupted so that Schumer can.
• Scarlett Johansson's Monologue: Johannson talks about doing her favorite New York things, which involve going to T.G.I. Fridays, the Gap and buying a painting of Scarface and Tupac shaking hands. She goes on to bring out Sanjaya Malakar (Samberg) from American Idol, who's feeling down after being the object of scorn from fans of the series and finally being voted off the reality show. The two sing a duet of "Something to Talk About," but every time the camera cuts away to Johansson, Sanjaya has a different more absurd hairstyle, except after the camera cut to a girl crying in the audience (Wiig).
• Live with Regis & Kelly - Ivanka Trump: Regis Philbin (Hammond) and Kelly Ripa (Poehler) host the first episode of their morning show, Live with Regis & Kelly, after Philbin's triple bypass heart surgery. Philbin tries to seriously talk about his surgery, but Ripa constantly interjects with ignorant or otherwise ridiculous observations. Off stage, Howie Mandel (Armisen) is standing around just in case they need someone to stand in for Philbin, should he fall ill. Ivanka Trump (Johansson), daughter of Donald Trump, comes on the show as their first guest and gives Philbin a present from her father, which is a picture of Trump on a pillow. She talks about The Apprentice and her father before they go to commercial break.
• Prom Gown: At a gown store, a woman (Wiig) is given an expensive prom dress for her daughter by the manager of the store (Hader). As she's leaving, a trashy girl (Johansson) and her mother, the equally trashy Virginiaka Hastings (Thompson), come in demanding a dress. The man tries to accommodate them, but stuggles with their lack of class. They try to convince him to sell them a leopard print dress that's on hold for someone else. Virginiaka pushes her daughter outside and her sexual advances disgust
• SNL Digital Short - Roy Rules!: Samberg sings a song about how much his brother-in-law, Roy, rules. Things take a strange turn when Samberg admits, in the song, that he wants to have sex with him. The rest of the song becomes about Samberg's weird sexual fantasies about Roy.
• Mike's Marbleopolis: In the same vein as a previous endeavor in selling chandeliers, an Italian man (Armisen) tries to sell people on buying marble columns so that they can class up their homes. The man's daughter, Lexi (Johansson), gives further testimony about how much better off people would be if they bought columns from Mike's Marbleopolis.
• WIIX News: A news anchor, Gil (Sudeikis), announces the return of correspondent Michelle Dison (Wiig), who took a leave of absence after an inappropriate altercation with her last subject. Dison's first "around town" subject is Bonnie Cox (Johansson), a woman who saved several people from an apartment complex fire by alerting the authorities quickly and helping people get out while they could. However, throughout the course of the interview, Dison inappropriately starts hitting on Cox, just like what happened before her leave of absence. Gil, tries to lead things back on track before Dison embarrasses herself again. Cox tries to let Dison down easy, but is forced to yell at her. Dison admits that she should probably take some time off and is suddenly attacked by a cat, prompting Gil to go to break.
• Earth Intruders: Björk song.
• Weekend Update:
  • Forte, a huge supporter of the environment, wrote a song with Armisen playing guitar called "An Open Apology to Mother Earth" for deliberately damaging the planet by dumping paint into the ocean, keeping his stretch hummers running at all times and thinking that car pools are "for pussies." He tells the audience to go out and buy or rent copies of Battlefield Earth and throw them out, so that when all of the landfills are full of Battlefield Earth DVDs someone will be forced to do something.
• Kuatos Dinner Party: Danny and Susan (Hader and Rudolph) invited two of their friends (Armisen and Poehler) over for dinner, but they have alterior motives. Although the couple think that Danny proposed to her, in actuality they're admitting that they both have Kuatos (Samberg and Johansson), the creates from Total Recall, living inside of them. They let the Kuatos out, who ruthlessly mock the disgusted couple and start making out. This experience causes both the couple and two men (Thompson and Forte) who are inexplicably standing by the door to vomit uncontrollably. The lights dim and Arnold Schwarzenegger (Hammond) steps out to proudly say that he wrote the sketch.
• Internet Newsmakers: Jane Pauley (Wiig) introduces an episode of Newsmakers about internet celebrities, both willing and unwilling, who gained fame through viral videos. One such celebrity (Thompson) is brought out after his furniture store commercial was popularized. The interview was incredibly brief and is cut off so that Pauley can cut to a Bollywood little person named Little Superstar (Armisen). After the clip, Pauley goes straight to her next guest, a woman (Johansson) who fell out of a grape crusher's barrel on live television. She tells Pauley that she's fine now that she has the full body cast off and that she's had counseling for the fact that everyone on the planet has seen her humiliation, but falls again. Pauley brings the show to a close and teases the next episode, which will feature the Star Wars kid (Forte).
• TV Funhouse - Torboto: Torboto, a parody of Gigantor, is a robot that tortures people created so that the United States government can get around the laws against people torturing captives of Guantanamo Bay. Dick Cheney and George W. Bush go to the base to witness a test of the robot, which involves him going to great lengths to humiliate the prisoners without actually asking them for information, up until Cheney tries to get him to sodomize one of them. Torboto rejects his orders, shocks Cheney's genitals and rips out his mechnical heart. He's later shown on 60 Minutes and relocated to a suburb where he gets a little girl's cat out of a tree by putting a hood on the branch and shocking the place where its testicles would be if it were a man.

Notes

"Live from New York, It's Saturday Night!"

• Senator Chuck Schumer as himself.

Music

• Something to Talk About, performed by Scarlett Johansson and Andy Samberg: The song that Scarlett Johansson and Andy Samberg (as Sanjaya Malakar) sing in the opening monologue is "Something to Talk About," originally performed by Bonnie Raitt in 1991 for her album Luck of the Draw. The song was the last song performed by the real Sanjaya on American Idol which resulted in him being voted off the show once and for all.

• Earth Intruders, performed by Björk: "Earth Intruders" is the first song performed by Björk and also the first song off her 2007 album Volta. The song was released as the album's first single in early April, a month before the album was released. It was inspired by a dream she had while on a trans-Atlantic flight in which a "tsunami of millions and millions of poverty-stricken people" raised above her airplane, struck it and razed the White House.

• Wanderlust, performed by Björk: The second song performed by Björk was "Wanderlust," the second song from Volta. It, unlike "Earth Intruders," is actually not a single but is the second song from the album.

Trivia

The Show

• Third Appearance: Technically speaking, this is Björk's third appearance on Saturday Night Live. However, in her first appearance, she was singing for The Sugarcubes in 1988. The band broke up in 1992, but Björk explored a prominent solo career that allowed her to return as a musical guest in 1997.