Saturday Night Live/Zach Braff/Maroon 5

Zach Braff/Maroon 5
Season 32, Episode 20
Airdate	May 19, 2007
Production Number	1491
Written by	Seth Meyers Andrew Steele Paula Pell (head writers) Doug Abeles James Anderson Alex Baze James Downey Charlie Grandy Steve Higgins Colin Jost Erik Kenward John Lutz Lorne Michaels Matt Murray Marika Sawyer Akiva Schaffer Robert Smigel John Solomon Emily Spivey Jorma Taccone Bryan Tucker
Directed by	Don Roy King
← 32x19 Molly Shannon/Linkin Park	33x01 → LeBron James/Kanye West
Saturday Night Live — Season Thirty-Two

Zach Braff/Maroon 5 is the twentieth episode of the thirty-second season of Saturday Night Live, and the six hundred and twenty-seventh episode overall. It is the first appearance by the host and the second appearance by the musical guest.

Guest Stars: Zach Braff (Host), Maroon 5 (Musical Guest)

Episode Breakdown

• Presidential Address: President George W. Bush (Sudeikis) addresses America to talk about the War in Iraq before going on summer vacation until labor day when he comes back. He responds to critics who claimed that the American government only wanted to establish a puppet government by saying that the government clearly hates them. Vice President Dick Cheney (Hammond) gives a thumbs up to this statement. Bush also claims vindication in claims that they went to war for oil even since gasoline prices are increasing exponentially. Cheney reacts again to this but disappears when Bush admits that they didn't listen to the American public or military leaders. Bush then hands over control of the country to Condoleezza Rice (Rudolph).
• Zach Braff's Monologue: Braff talks about his childhood growing up in New Jersey and how incredibly overlooked the state is. To honor the state of New Jersey, he sings a medley of song parodies about New Jersey and often interjects facts about their fast driving governor (who was recently in a car accident) and their eggplant production. Samberg, Armisen, Thompson Poehler and Rudolph come out wearing costumes of New Jersey's most well known buildings, even though they have no idea what they're dressed as.
• Digital Short - Craigs List: The owner of a New York apartment (Braff) is subletting it out to another man (Samberg), but before they can finish the paperwork, he gets a call and leaves the renter alone in the living room. Once he's out of sight, Rufus, the owner's dog, comes in and seduces the renter. The two nearly kiss when the owner comes back and questions what he's doing. He leaves for another phone call and Rufus tries once again to manipulate the renter into getting him some ham from the refrigerator. When the owner realizes what's going on, he lets the renter make out with his dog after all, even though the dog was just using him.
• Prom Committee: Beth B.J. Jacobs (Poehler) Lauren B.J. Carlton (Rudolph) are heading up a prom committee to choose the theme for their dance, even though they hate the idea of letting anyone else in on their deciding process because they're set on doing a James Bond prom. They go around the room anyway, starting with Billy Zurillo (Armisen) who suggests that they do a New York Mets themed prom. Lyle Kane (Forte) suggests "get to know Lyle Kane," even though he's intensely creepy. Brian Birdstein (Braff) pretentiously goes on and on about Garden State and about how they could play the Grammy Award winning soundtrack. When the B.J.s put it down as like "a Pitchfork mix-tape," he puts on his headphones and broods at his desk. Scooch (Thompson) and Mando (Sudeikis), two burnouts suggest that they do a "Pink Floyd" theme that ends at 4:20 AM. Beatrice (Wiig) and Stanley (Hader) recommend that they do a theme about abstinence, because they allegedly believe in saving themselves until after marriage. Stanley, apparently prematurely ejaculates when she touches him and the two run out. Lomax (Samberg) claims that he's uninterested in the real prom, but does extend invitation to his virtual prom with a fantasy theme. Since it'll just be an eight-way tie again, they ask Principal McDoogal (Hammond) to be the tie-breaking vote. McDoogal is actually just Sean Connery, who obviously votes for the 007 theme.
• Deep House Dish: DJ Dynasty Handbag (Thompson) starts the show with a report on Paris Hilton going to jail by T-Shane, and shockingly he made a joke that made Handbag laugh. Then he took the joke too far into unfunny territory which causes Handbag to retract his laughter. This episode of the show features Shereals Davis (Rudolph), G-Thug (Braff) and Franchesca Freem (Poehler) and her partner (Forte). Highlights from the show include G-Thug being a white guy from the suburbs with a Dora the Explorer tattoo and Freem singing a song about a "brown eye winking up at me."
• TV Funhouse - Spring '07 Cleaning: Oprah has all of the presidential candidates on her show to admit facts which are potentially damaging to their political careers so that people can quickly forget about them by next year. This just turns into Rudolph Giuliani admitting far too much and the other candidates one-uping each other with more and more offensive and bizarre statements. The only person who doesn't say anything of relevance except that she once slept with Bill Clinton. Oprah tries to stop the segment but the candidates just keep going with more and more offensive statements (especially Giuliani).
• Jukebox: Four old friends (Sudeikis, Hader, Forte and Braff) sit around at an outdoor bar, talking about what memories come up after one of them plays "Take A Load Off Annie" on the jukebox. One (Sudeikis) talks about his ex-girlfriend's braces getting stuck on a "sensitive" area during her sister's wedding. Another (Hader) is reminded of when his father took him down to Mexico on business trips and didn't know if he was more full of joy or heroin filled condoms that his dad made him swallow. A third (Forte) recalls driving a school-bus drunk and being pulled over for a broken taillight. The last friend (Braff) recalls mailing people his own feces and that Rachel Ray is his latest target. After their stories, they all get up and strip to the tune of "Jungle Boogie" before "The End" flashes on screen.
• Weekend Update:
  • Poehler's Aunt Linda reviews several movies, including Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End, Oceans 13 and Rush Hour 3. Of course, she hated all three of the movies and has nothing in their place that she suggests.
  • After making a joke about Law & Order, Poehler realizes that Sam Waterston (Armisen) is standing right behind her. He makes several puns about law and skulks off stage.
  • While attempting to deliver a joke about tree frogs, Whitney Houston (Rudolph) wanders in to wish Poehler and Meyers a "happy summertime." Poehler is baited into asking Houston what she's doing for the summer, which leads to her threatening to prank her ex-husband Bobby Brown. Poehler calls attention to the gift she brought for the two, which turn out to be cocaine brownies.
• La Rivista Della Televisione con Vinny Vedecci: Vinny Vedecci (Hader) hosts a talk show on an Italian network with Braff, who clearly does not understand a single word that Vedecci is saying, especially after a long question spoken at a fast pace. Vedecci yells at his director (Armisen), who's eating spaghetti off stage. Vedecci steers the conversation towards Columbo and his surprisingly good impression of Peter Falk. They show a clip of Scrubs which has been dubbed entirely by Vedecci as if it were an intense drama, instead of the comedy that it's meant to be. When Braff asks for a translator, two puppets appear from behind the table. One of the puppets asks for a kiss and sprays him in the face with fake vomit when he humors Vedecci. The show runs out of time and Vedecci ends the show before they can get to "Karate Gorilla."
• Bronx Beat - Mike Drucka: Betty (Poehler) and Jodi (Rudolph) host another installment of their Bronx-based talk show and talk about what they'll be doing in the summer, including swimming with the dolphins (who are smarter than Betty's husband). They try to bring on Chef Don Barbieri, but he cancelled on them. Instead, they claim that his meatballs are "garbage balls" and bring on Mike Drucka (Braff), an intern on the show. They ask him what he did for Mother's Day (he called his Mom), how much he gets paid (nothing) and his kung-fu hobby before sending him off stage.
• Ugly Melissa: Braff and his agent (Rudolph) are waiting for their meeting with Brian Gold at a movie studio, but he's in a meeting and is told by his terribly unattractive assistant Melissa (Braff) that they should just stay in the lobby. Melissa spends their time awkwardly making bizarre small talk to hit on him. Gold (Hader) comes out and it turns out that Melissa was just stalling them so that she could hit on Braff. The agent and Gold go into his office, but Braff stays behind to make out with Melissa.

Notes

"Live from New York, It's Saturday Night!"

• Maya Rudolph as Condoleezza Rice.

Music

• The Weight by The Band: The song that plays on the jukebox throughout the "Jukebox" sketch is "The Weight" by The Band released on their 1968 album Music from Big Pink. The song is about a traveling drifter who has several encounters with people in Pennsylvania and recounts those experiences, particularly "Miss Fannie" who sent him on his journey to Nazareth. The song makes many Biblical allusions which lead some to believe the song is about purgatory.

• Jungle Boogie by Kool & The Gang: When the friends in the "Jukebox" sketch start stripping, the song "Jungle Boogie" by the acclaimed funk band Kool & The Gang plays in the background briefly. The song is from their album Wild and Peaceful, released in 1978. Incidentally, this song (like the song used in the previous incarnation of this sketch) was also used in the Pulp Fiction soundtrack.

• Makes Me Wonder, performed by Maroon 5: The first song performed by Maroon 5 in the episode is "Makes Me Wonder," the first single from their 2007 album "It Won't Be Soon Before Long." Although the single debuted in March, the album wasn't released in the United States even at the time of this episode. It was released on May 22, 2007.

• Won't Go Home Without You, performed by Maroon 5: Maroon 5's second performance was of "Won't Go Home Without You," another song from their yet to be released (at the time the episode was broadcast) album It Won't Be Soon Before Long.