Saturday Night Live/Jon Bon Jovi/Foo Fighters
Jon Bon Jovi/Foo Fighters is the third episode of the thirty-third season of Saturday Night Live, and the six hundred and thirtieth episode overall. It is the first episode hosted by Jon Bon Jovi, although he has appeared three time before as part of Bon Jovi. It is the fifth appearance for main musical guest Foo Fighters.
- Amy Poehler's House, October 13, 1986: In 1986, a teenager Amy Poehler is writing in her diary about how bad her day was. Among the bad things happening, she had her period on the balance beam and was made fun of by the other kids. She also complains about how her Mom found beer in her laundry hamper and won't let her go to the Bon Jovi concert. In a fit of desperation to get her hair higher, she uses two canisters of hair spray and passes out from the fumes. When she wakes up, Bon Jovi has stepped out of her poster to cheer her up. He told her about when he wore orthopedic shoes and was fat until he followed his passion for playing guitar. He asks Poehler what her dreams are, but they're all mundane things like working at the Limited and rent an apartment. He tells her that in 20 years, she's going to be a cast member on Saturday Night Live and he'll be the host. She asks if Bon Jovi will be around in the future and he promises her that they will be. When she tries to get her camera to remember the moment, Bon Jovi disappears back into her poster and she decides to dedicate herself to acting.
- Jon Bon Jovi's Monologue: When Bon Jovi mentions that he won't be "singing for his supper" that night, a member of the audience (Wiig) asks if it means that he won't be performing as a musician on the show. Another audience member sarcastically applauds this decision, but guitarist Richie Sambora stops him again to say that they have a new album out and he should consider his feelings. After Sambora flubs his line twice, Bon Jovi takes him to the stage and the band performs "Lost Highway."
- Ohhhhh!: Johnny Vincente (Hader) hosts a popular New Jersey game show featuring contestants from the state. The premise of the game is that the contestants Mike (Hammond), Carlo (Bon Jovi) and Frankie (Armisen) are given a scenario and when it becomes distressing, the first to go "Ohhhhh!" and explain why gets the point. The categories given are Food (your wife uses Velveeta instead of real cheese in a recipe), Children (your kid calls his mother fat and lazy), Prostitution (no answer to having sex with a prostitute on your wife's birthday) and Homosexuality, which doesn't get anywhere beyond the name of the category. After the first round, Mike is eliminated and they move to the speed round. Donna (Wiig) comes out to make rapid declarations like "I'm pregnant" and "Your mother's a whore," leaving the two remaining contestants to react accordingly. Carl wins the game and the New Jersey Devils home game tickets.
- A Visit with Former Vice President Al Gore: Al Gore (Hammond) decides to show off his trophy room, which has been augmented by his new Nobel Peace Prize. Just about everything that has been awarded to him is in connection to An Inconvenient Truth, including his Oscar, Emmy, Grammy, a certificate from the RIAA and an Adult Video News Award for a group sex scene in the adult version of the documentary. Also in the room are an award for getting the most votes in a presidential election without winning, a framed vaccination certificate, a time share scam, a scrapbook including newspaper articles which mention him, a world's greatest dad coffee mug and O.J. Simpson's Heismann Trophy, which he bought off eBay with his Nobel Prize money.
- SNL Digital Short - People Getting Punched Right Before Eating: Around New York, people get ready to take a bite of their lunch when Samberg runs in, punches them and does a victory dance. Among the people getting punched are the Bon Jovi, who makes a full recovery with his guitar playing, Will Forte, Jason Sudeikis (who fends off getting punched when he takes a phone call, but winds up getting hit after that), Foo Fighter Taylor Hawkins and Dave Grohl (who doesn't see Hawkins get punched). When he comes back to hit Forte again, he's fended off, forcing him to murder Forte in cold blood by strangling him. Samberg is suddenly backed into a corner by zombies, so he flees across the world to avoid them. They make chase and stop for a dance number in Moscow and the short ends with "believe in your dreams" flashing on screen.
- Postseason with Dane Cook #1: Dane Cook (Sudeikis) makes obtuse pop culture references to advertise the upcoming Red Sox/Indians World Series games which make very little sense.
- La Rivista Della Televisione - Bon Jovi: Bon Jovi guest stars on an Italian talk show hosted by Vinny Vedecci (Hader). But he's put off by the fact that he wasn't given a translator, since the producer (Armisen) assumed that he'd be able to speak Italian based on his name. Vinny screams at his producer, who is eating pasta off stage, and they try to move on without the questions in Italian. Vinny asks, in broken English, where Bon Jovi is from. When he responds "New Jersey," he and his producer do surprisingly good impressions of characters from The Sopranos. Vinny moves on to "Blaze of Glory," a song which is best known in Italy as a jingle on a commercial advertising cigarettes to children. Bon Jovi is horrified by this, especially because they use his face on the packaging. Vinny changes the subject to "Dead or Alive," asking if the song is about a man on a robot horse. He's disappointed to find out that the "steel horse" is a metaphor for the tour bus and tries to shoo off the robot horse that was supposed to be the punchline of a joke that doesn't work anymore. Bon Jovi calls Vinny on the fact that he doesn't recognize any of the Italian words said all night, even though his grandmother spoke Italian around the house when he was a kid. He ends the show abruptly to save face.
- Weekend Update:
- In anticipation of a potential writer's strike, Rosa Santiago (Rudolph) has been asked to step up and write jokes for Weekend Update. She tells several poorly told jokes about David Hassellhoff relapsing on his alcoholism and a naked man test driving a van with a heavy Hispanic accident.
- The naked guy who walked into a Tad's Steaks (Samberg) on Times Square wanders onto the set, talking to his mother on the cell phone.
- Nicolas Fehn (Armisen), resident political comedian, comes on to give his "skewed view" on the headlines of the day, which basically amounts to him reading the headline and saying "No way, man! What? You can't do that!" Meyers questions where the "witty comments" are supposed to be be, but Fehn keeps up his stuttering and incomplete sentences while dismissing Meyers as an idiot who doesn't want to use his brain.
- The Pretender: Foo Fighters song.
- Missing Purse in Enemy Territory: On a space ship, the lieutenant is trying to chart a new course away from enemy territory, but the ship won't let him without access codes from the Captain (Wiig). He tells the ship that he doesn't know where she is and tries to change it anyway, but the ship refuses. She appears later trying to find her purse, but she gets distracted trying to find her purse. The attempts to get her back on course, but it's too late, they're hailed by an alien named Bloratz (Bon Jovi) hails them and his people board their ship. One of them (Thompson) shoots a passenger on the ship (Hader) and takesthe lieutenant as a hostage. But she doesn't really care, she's too distracted by the fact that she finally found her purse. She shoots the alien who took the hostage with a gun in her purse, but her constant babbling about her purse delays their exit.
- Postseason with Dane Cook #2: Dane Cook (Sudeikis) makes more obtuse pop culture references to advertise the upcoming Red Sox/Indians World Series games which make very little sense.
- Notre Dame on NBC: A parody of NBC's college football broadcasts is shown, which pokes fun at the network constantly broadcasting Notre Dame football games, even though there are more exciting games in other conferences being played.
- Sayreville, NJ, 1984: Jon Bon Jovi and the rest of the band argue about what their name should be. Alec John Such (Samberg), David Bryan (Forte), Tico Torres (Armisen) and Richie Sambora (Sudeikis) want the name to be Natural Disaster, but Bon Jovi wants them to be named "Bon Jovi." He puts up an argument that none of them are following, especially after he produces a Bon Jovi t-shirt with his face much larger than the others and when he can't remember half the band's names. He tells them that after 5 years, they'll change the band's name to Sambora and so on, so Torres agrees to stay on for 25 years to get through the entire rotation. When Sambora brings up the subject of what to call their first album, Bon Jovi says that he has an idea and it cuts to a picture of their self-titled record.
- Iconoclasts: On a Sundance Channel show called Iconoclasts, Björk (Wiig) and Charles Barkley (Thompson) star in their own episode. Which amounts mainly to the two sharing an awkward silence, Bjork being weird and Barkley having nothing of it.
- Who Says You Can't Go Home: Bon Jovi song.
"Live from New York, It's Saturday Night!"
- Amy Poehler as herself, 20 years younger.
- "Lost Highway," performed by Bon Jovi: The song performed by Bon Jovi in the monologue is the title track from the band's 2007 album Lost Highway. The song and album were inspired by country music and recorded in Nashville, TN. The title of the song was taken from a Hank Williams song and Bon Jovi explained that the song is about a place that only you know about.
- "The Pretender," performed by Foo Fighters: Despite being the advertised musical guest, the only song performed by Foo Fighters was "The Pretender," the first single from their 2007 album Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace. Incidentally, Pat Smear appeared on stage with the band. Smear was a part of Foo Fighters between 1995 and 1997 and was an auxiliary member of Nirvana in 1994, including when they performed on SNL.
- "Who Says You Can't Go Home," performed by Bon Jovi: The second song performed by Bon Jovi, played over the closing credits, was "Who Says You Can't Go Home," a country version of the song from Have a Nice Day and the main reason why the band decided to record a country record. The country version was recorded as a duet in 2006 with Jennifer Nettles and became the first song by a rock band to reach #1 on Billboard's Hot 100 Country list.
- Cameo: At the end of the show, before the last musical performance, Jack Nicholson introduced the band.