Arrested Development/Tobias Fünke
From The TV IV
Tobias Fünke (played by David Cross) is the husband of Lindsay Bluth Fünke and the father of Mae "Maybe" Fünke. Formerly a Chief of Psychiatry at Massachusetts General Hospital, he embarked on a job search after losing his medical license for mistakenly performing CPR on a man who was simply asleep. When he accidentally boarded a ship full of homosexual protestors, most of whom acted in the local theatre, he decided that his fate was to become an actor.
Tobias also suffers from a rare psychological syndrome known as "never-nude" syndrome, and wears cutoffs under his clothing to avoid nakedness. This has compounded his relationship problems with his Lindsay, who married him as an act of rebellion against her parents. It also caused problems when he was forced to act in a nude scene in a role his acting coach Carl Weathers helped him attain, as "Frightened Inmate #2." He was able to overcome his psychological problems with Lindsay's help, but he was scared back into his cutoffs after a close-range photo of his testicles was circulated around the world, mistaken for a spy photo of an Iraqi landscape.
The writers have a recurring theme in the humor surrounding Tobias, mostly in jokes that he is secretly gay. He has a habit of phrasing his sentences strangely, and it usually results in him unintentionally making a double entendre, which he remains oblivious to while everyone else has an awkward moment. For example: "I always end up on all fours... like a cat" or "even if it means taking a chubby, I will suck it dry!" He also has a best-selling self-help book in the gay community titled The Man Inside Me, which was written while he labored under the label of an analyst-therapist, or "analrapist."
His other attempts at employment include a stint as a mall security guard and an understudy for the Blue Man Group, a job he covets so much that he paints himself blue and thus leaves blue paint marks all over the Bluth household. He also worked as the frontman of Dr. Funke's 100% Natural Good-Time Family-Band Solution, which chiefly marketed prescription drugs for the Natural Life Food Company, a division of Chem-Grow, an Allen Crayne acquisition, which was part of the Squimm Group. Their motto was simple: "We keep you alive".
Tobias: "I thought that the homosexuals were pirates, but it turns out that most of them are actors in the local theatre. You're right though, it is amazing. I've been waiting for the universe to provide a path for me, and I think it has!"
Lindsay: "You're gay."
Tobias: "No! No. I'm not -- I'm not gay. No, Lindsay, how many times must we have this... No. I want to be an actor."
As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch. Well, I don’t want to blame it all on 9/11, but it certainly didn’t help.
It’s important not to tie your self-esteem to how you look or what people think of you. I mean, look at me— I’m an actor. An actor, for crying out loud. You know how much rejection I face every day? But in this business of show, you have to have the heart of an angel and the hide... of an elephant.
I am like a cat. I always end up on all fours. Like a cat.