The Simpsons/Much Apu About Nothing

Much Apu About Nothing
Season 7, Episode 23
Airdate	May 5, 1996
Production Number	3F20
Written by	David S. Cohen
Directed by	Susie Dietter
← 7x22 Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"	7x24 → Homerpalooza
The Simpsons — Season Seven

Plot Overview

On an ordinary day, a bear strolls onto Evergreen Terrace. Ned Flanders, scared on seeing the grizzly visitor, slams his car into a tree, and runs home terrified. With Maude too panicky to open the door, Ned panics and jumps inside through the window, while the bear clamly watches, without having moved since it saw Ned first. Kent Brockman, in a helicopter reports about the huge bear-like animal ("most likely a bear"). While his family watches the bear playfully maul their mailbox, Homer prefers to watch it on TV, feeling sorry for the "Impson" family. He feels there's nothing to fear as long as they have beer, but, on opening the fridge, he finds there's no beer and freaks out. He sneaks out through a window and climbs onto the cable attached to the house. The cable snaps and he gets swung around. Bart grabs onto his pants, causing Homer to lose them and hit the ground near the bear.

The bear is subdued by the police, but not before they tranquilize and capture Barney Gumble (though he seems to enjoy it). Homer rants about these "constant bear attacks", even though this is the very first bear Ned has seen in his thirty odd years of living on that street. Homer then leads an angry mob and demands that Mayor Quimby do something about this. Soon, the Bear Patrol is created, a useless organization which makes use of helicopters, police cars, even a B-2 Spirit. Homer feels happy to know that the Bear Patrol is doing their job, as there are no bears around. Lisa call it "specious reasoning" and tries to explain, with the help of a rock "that keeps tigers away", that since there are no tigers around, the rock must be working. Homer contemplates this and offers to buy Lisa's tiger-repellant rock, to which Lisa agrees knowing better than to try and explain further.

Homer then gets just as shocked when he saw the bear when he discovers that taxes have been raised five dollars to maintain the Bear Patrol. This warrants yet another visit by the angry mob to the Mayor's office. To calm down the ignorant citizens of Springfield, Mayor Quimby pins the blame for the high taxes on illegal immigrants. He then creates Proposition 24, which will deport all illegal immigrants from Springfield.

At Springfield Elementary, Nelson picks on Uter, the German exchange student, for being an illegal immigrant. Even Principal Skinner refuses to help out poor Uter, much to Lisa's dismay. At home, she tries to talk about the benefits of immigration, and how the Simpson family itself were immigrants, which prompts one of Grampa's stories of how they immigrated to America. But it has no effect on Homer, who still supports Prop 24.

At the Kwik-E-Mart, Apu tells Homer that he is an illegal immigrant and if Prop 24 passes, he will be deported, as his visa expired many years earlier. Homer feels sorry, but he tells Apu that we will miss him. The Kwik-E-Mart's business goes down due to the surge of protesters against illegal immigrants. Marge cannot believe that Apu is an illegal immigrant. He narrates of how he graduated from Caltech (Calcutta Technical Institute) and came to Springfield for higher studies, and learned Computer Science from Professor Frink. To pay off his student loans, he joined the Kwik-E-Mart and has stayed in Springfield ever since, despite having paid off his loans.

Marge tells Apu she will vote "no" on Prop 24, although it clearly will not be enough to help Apu. After discovering Kearney's fake ID, he asks him where he got it. On finding out, Apu goes to Fat Tony to get a false United States citizenship. On Fat Tony's advice, he starts acting American, putting up American flags in the store, wearing a Mets jersey and a ten-gallon hat, and speaking in an "American" accent. However, he realizes he disgraced his parents for turning his back on his Indian heritage.

Homer vows that the Simpsons will help him, though three of them are below voting age and he is not registered voter. Bart advises Apu to marry some American woman and dump her after getting a citizenship. Homer tries to get Apu married to Selma, but that goes down the toilet.

Lisa, having read the citizenship laws front to back, discovers that Apu will not get deported if he can pass a US citizenship test. Homer agrees to be his tutor to help prepare him before the vote on Prop 24, much to Apu's delight, though his family is less optimistic. Apu demonstrates excellent knowledge of the United States, but Homer is a terrible tutor and replaces Apu's knowledge with false information and leaves Apu to look over his notes from ninth-grade history. However, he falls asleep. When he wakes he panics, declaring he has forgotten everything Homer had taught him, which Lisa says is excellent news and takes him to the exam. Apu then goes to take the written and oral test. He passes it and becomes an American citizen, i.e., an Indian-American. At a congratulatory party, Homer tells his guests how terrible it would be if immigrants were deported. He inspires them to vote "no" on Prop 24, but it still passes...with 95%.

Apu is happy to get a mail to report for jury duty, as it affirms his citizenship, and he does what any typical American citizen would do - trash it. The Simpsons are happy that everything worked out for the people they care about... although Groundskeeper Willie is deported.

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