Saturday Night Live/Jude Law/Ashlee Simpson

Jude Law/Ashlee Simpson
Season 30, Episode 3
Airdate	October 23, 2004
Production Number	1372
Written by	Tina Fey Andrew Steele (head writers) Doug Abeles Leo Allen James Anderson Alex Baze Liz Cackowski James Downey Charlie Grandy Steve Higgins Joe Kelly Erik Kenward John Lutz Lorne Michaels Matt Murray Paula Pell Lauren Pomerantz Frank Sebastiano T. Sean Shannon Eric Slovin Robert Smigel JB Smoove Emily Spivey Jason Sudeikis Rich Talarico T. Sean Shannon (short)
Directed by	Beth McCarthy Miller
← 30x02 Queen Latifah	30x04 → Kate Winslet/Eminem
Saturday Night Live — Season Thirty

Jude Law/Ashlee Simpson is the third episode of the thirtieth season of Saturday Night Live. It is the first time appearing on the show by both the host and the musical guest. It is also the infamous episode in which musical guest Ashlee Simpson was caught lip synching during her second song.

Guest Stars: Jude Law (Host), Ashlee Simpson (Musical Guest)

Episode Breakdown

• Hardball - General Election 2004: Chris Matthews (Hammond) has Republican National Committee Chairman Ed Gillespie (Meyers) and John Kerry Campaign Manager Mary Beth Cahill (Poehler) on the show to talk about how Kerry is closing the gap between himself and President George W. Bush in the campaign polls. Gillespie stays on point to say Bush is the only person who can "kill the wolves" that are in America's homes eating their babies, while Cahill attempts to defend Kerry's comments on Dick Cheney's lesbian daughter by saying it's fair game since she admits it. When Matthews moves to polling numbers, Gillespie is heavily in denial, to the point that he believes Bush will win 100% of the popular vote, and Cahill once again steers the topic back towards Cheney's gay daughter. A final guest, Zell Miller (Forte), is introduced to comment on his keynote address at the Republican National Convention. Miller just screams about terrorists and John Kerry's "fancy ketchup wife" before threatening to duel Matthews.
• Jude Law's Monologue: Law reminisces about his roots as a theatrical actor and his first performance as Happy in Death of a Salesman until he starts going on about how handsome he is. This turns into a song about how he's the only perfect thing in the world and how easy life is when you're beautiful. To compliment his song about his good looks, he brings out back-up singers (Rudolph, Dratch, Fey and Poehler), as well as Ashlee Simpson, whom he mistakenly calls "Jessica." The five women all fawn over him, and Simpson doesn't correct him when he calls her the wrong name but instead sings with them. Suddenly, the song breaks into "Hey Jude," and they all dance around the stage until the monologue ends.
• Green Screen Scene: While filming a movie called Air Commander and the Day After Yesterday, Peter (Law) and his co-star Catherine (Poehler) are told that instead of filming in the traditional way, the director (Meyers) is going to film everything on green screen. A production assistant (Dratch) marks the scene, and they act awkwardly to the director coaching them on what is going to be in the movie eventually. After one take, they bring in Randy Turkstra (Forte), a man in a green costume who may be a giant ape or a tiny robot in post-production. Peter gets so frustrated that he quits the film entirely.
• The Dyson Toilet: James Dyson (Armisen), inventor of a vacuum cleaner which doesn't use suction, has invented a new suctionless product: The common toilet. He bills it as the first toilet that doesn't require plunging.
• Ninth Presidential Debate: The ninth and possibly last presidential debate between President George W. Bush (Forte) and John Kerry (Meyers) is being moderated by Jim Lehrer (Parnell), who is filling in for Geraldo Rivera. Kerry is asked what his plan is for Iraq, but he quickly steers the conversation to Mary Cheney's homosexuality before answering the question in a vague and incomprehensible way. Bush doesn't disagree with Kerry's plan to bring in all European powers plus Iraq to fight in the war; he simply demands to know where Kerry was when they were planning this thing. The question of health care comes up, and Bush accuses Kerry of voting to raise taxes over 1100 times, but Kerry retorts by telling a long, meandering story about someone who may not exist, because he's just repeating an urban legend he saw on Mythbusters. Lehrer follows this with a question on flu vaccines, but the two go back to the well of Cheney's lesbian daughter and Kerry's love of raising taxes.
• Paris Hilton Apologizes: Paris Hilton (Rudolph) apologizes in front of a line of photographers for using "the 'N' word" in her sex tape, along with her sister Nicki Hilton (Law). Nicole Richie (Dratch) interrupts to ask if she should eat the coconut air freshener she found in her car. Paris goes on to list a series of black guys with whom she would have sex to prove she's not racist, which includes Webster and George Hamilton.
• Pieces of Me: Ashlee Simpson song.
• Weekend Update.
  • The ghost of Babe Ruth (Sanz) appears when Fey questions whether or not the curse of the Bambino has been lifted from the Boston Red Sox to say he "cursed the hell" out of them. He claims responsibility for the Red Sox difficulties in the first two games but says he left early with Rodney Dangerfield in game 3 of the World Series and got into a hot dog-eating contest which caused him to pass out for the last three games. A ghost hooker named Lulu (Dratch) also appears to make it even more apparent Ruth was preoccupied when he was supposed to be cursing the Red Sox.
• Bush & Blair Press Conference: President George W. Bush (Forte) and British Prime Minister Tony Blair (Law) appear in a press conference broadcast on C-SPAN in order to answer questions about whether or not the United States is fighting the Iraq war alone. Bush acts increasingly forceful with Blair to make him declare that he wasn't coerced into the war, even though he's intensely unpopular in his own country. In typical Bush fashion, he stumbles over his words until giving up and taking questions from the press. "Sasquatch" (Riggle) and "Blue Shoes" (Poehler) are among the reporters present (Armisen and Mitchell are also seen), but their questions are deflected by Bush using Blair as a mouthpiece to lend credibility to his own policies.
• Trump Promo Shoot: In a commercial shoot for the Halloween episode of The Apprentice, Donald Trump (Hammond) wears a vampire costume to promote his show. Instead of listening to the director (Meyers), Trump gives his own directives before giving his typically stiff reading of the lines. The director tries to get him to do it again so he'll do the evil laugh right, but Trump decides to "freestyle" it instead of following the script. The director gives up on Trump's vision and lets him leave.
• Jane Eyre: In the television adaptation of Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë, Mr. Rochester (Law) is questioned by Eyre (Dratch) about what exactly he's keeping in the attic. He forbids her to ever go into the attic, and she agrees without questioning it. After several months, Eyre starts to realize something odd is going on in the attic. She goes to investigate the moaning in the attic, where she finds Rochester and his mistress (Rudolph), but is distracted with a weak compliment about her "basic shape" being decent. Even though she hears the two having sex, Eyre doesn't investigate until Rochester is gone, when she finds his mistress in the attic. Busted, Rochester says she's his wife and he keeps her around because she threatened to kill herself when he wanted to divorce her. He goes off to have sex with her while Eyre "gets her jollies" by listening in.
• Autobiography: Ashlee Simpson song.
• Bear City - Driving to Work: Two bears attempt to drive to work, but one crashes into the other. They growl at each other until exchanging insurance information and moving on with their days.
• The Adventures of Peter O'Toole and Michael Caine: Notorious alcoholics Peter O'Toole (Law) and Michael Caine (Meyers) drunkenly stumble into a Taco Bell where they mistakenly believe they're hosting a talk show. They run with the idea by referring to a man named Brett (Riggle) asking for a napkin as a "caller." They also pause for commercials and tell a woman (Dratch) asking them if they need her to call someone to drive them home to get out of the shot. Eventually, they decide they're not hosting a talk show but are actually teaching an acting workshop. They try to convince a man (Thompson) into believing he's Othello and are kicked out of the store by the woman from earlier. "Othello" decides to bring them to a gentleman's club where they will most certainly find alcohol.
• Bear City - A Day at the Office: In a board meeting, the C.E.O. is angry over some reports he has been given. The meeting adjourns, and three employee mock him derisively. One of them is caught by the boss and is later seen with the contents of his desk being led out of the office by security.

Notes

"Live from New York, It's Saturday Night!"

• Darrell Hammond as Chris Matthews.

Music

• Hey Jude, performed by Jude Law, Maya Rudolph, Rachel Dratch, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler and Ashlee Simpson: One of the most famous Beatles songs of all time—and that's saying something—it was written by Paul McCartney and dedicated to John Lennon's son Julian (the original title was "Hey Jules") to comfort him during the divorce of his parents. Only intended to be released as a single, it became one of the rare seven-minutes-plus songs to top charts around the world upon its 1968 release. It is still considered one of the classics of both the Beatles' discographies and of rock anthems in general.

• 

  

  Ashlee Simpson dances a "hoedown" while her guide track plays.
  Pieces of Me, performed by Ashlee Simpson: Pieces of Me is the first single from the debut album by Ashlee Simpson, Autobiography. The song is her most successful single and is the only one to make it into the Billboard Hot 100's top ten. It is about her relationship with musician Ryan Cabrera, a friend with whom she was romantically involved at the time.

• Autobiography, kinda performed by Ashlee Simpson: Ashlee Simpson's second performance was meant to be "Autobiography," the title track from her debut album. However, when the second performance began, an apparent backing track for "Pieces of Me" began to play, complete with vocals. Simpson, unsure of what to do, danced erratically (a dance which she later called a "hoedown") and abandoned the stage while the band played the first bit of the real song before they cut for commercials. During the good nights, Simpson blamed the incident on her band playing the wrong song, even though her vocals were heard before she lifted the microphone to her mouth.

Trivia

The Show

• First Appearance: This episode marks the first (and second) appearance of Bear City, created by T. Sean Shannon, although it was missing the part of the intro involving the last two survivors being eaten by bears. The sketch would make several more appearances throughout the season.

• Milestone: Ashlee Simpson is the first musical act to leave the stage without completing the song at hand. The incident required Lorne Michaels to fill time with two episodes of Bear City and a sketch that was originally cut from the dress rehearsal.

• Simpson Debacle: Ashlee Simpson's second performance is one of the most notorious disasters in Saturday Night Live history. During the fallout of her performance, Simpson later recanted the hasty blame she placed on the band for "playing the wrong song" and claimed a "severe" variety of acid reflux hampered her vocal performance enough that her father required her to use a guide track for her performance. During the second performance, she went on to claim her drummer hit the wrong button and caused the wrong track to play. Even though she insists she really was singing, critics have seen the track as a clear instance of lip synching.

• Syndication Cuts: In the 60-minute syndication version of the episode, the aborted second performance by Simpson is cut entirely, although the good nights where Law mentions the incident are left intact.

Behind the Scenes

• 60 Minutes: During the production of this episode, a film crew for 60 Minutes was on hand to film a segment about what happens behind the scenes of Saturday Night Live and caught the Ashlee Simpson incident from backstage, as well as a similar incident during rehearsals where she clutched her throat and was on the verge of tears because of her apparent disease. The entire segment was eventually broadcast on October 31, 2004.

Allusions and References

• Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow: The sketch "Green Screen Scene" is a parody of Law's film "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow," an updated movie serial which was filmed entirely in front of a green screen so CGI effects could be added later.

Memorable Moments

• Ashlee Simpson blows her performance of Autobiography.