Saturday Night Live/Hugh Jackman/Mick Jagger

Hugh Jackman/Mick Jagger is the eighth episode of the twenty-seventh season of Saturday Night Live, and the five hundred and sixteenth episode overall.

Guest Stars: Hugh Jackman (Host), Mick Jagger (Musical Guest)

Episode Breakdown

• Al Gore Phones the White House: As President George W. Bush (Ferrell) meets with his advisors, including Condoleeza Rice (Rudolph), Colin Powell (Edwards), General Meyers (Meyers) and, from an "undisclosed, secure location," Dick Cheney (Hammond), to discuss his plans for a war with Iraq, he is interrupted by a phone call from former Vice President Al Gore (also Hammond), who is desperate to be involved. Bush tries to get Gore off the phone, but Gore keeps pushing. As Bush and Gore get into a shouting match over whether or not Bush is being snippy, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld (Hammond yet again) enters and scares Gore off the phone.
• Hugh Jackman's Monologue: Jackman talks about how he's transitioning from the X-Men movies and into romantic comedies, so he wants to do something romantic. Dratch asks that he take his shirt off and hold her, and Morgan suggests he smoke a joint as Wolverine. Instead, he decides to celebrate Christmas Australian style by caroling and singing "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas," joined by Poehler, Gasteyer, Rudolph and Dratch.
• Loose Bear: An overworked mom (Gasteyer) is suffering from constipation, so her friend (Poehler) recommends Loose Bear, a hallucinogen which makes one believe she is being chased by a bear, "scaring the crap" out of the user. In her testimonial, Poehler is comforted by her husband, Richards.
• Jarret's Room - Christmas at College: Rather than go home for Christmas, Jarret (Fallon) has stayed in the dorm, where he is joined by Gobi (Sanz) and their faux-British DJ, DJ Jonathan Feinstein (Meyers). Gobi has blown his Christmas money from his parents on a giant bong, with which he has smoked Jarret's mistletoe. Their guest is Stanley Justin (Jackman), a nerd with braces whom they have accepted because he hooked up a spy cam in their friend Jeff's (Richards) room. After Justin complains about the choice of Tobey Maguire to play Spider-Man, they play embarrassing clips of Jeff, including Jeff flexing while listening to the song "Eye of the Tiger," Jeff sniffing underwear and being pleased when one pair smells "really dirty" and Jeff shaving his back with a razor attached to a stick.
• The Robert Goulet All-Holiday Special: Robert Goulet (Ferrell) hams it up in a commercial for his upcoming, embarrassingly bad holiday special for the USA Network. The special features Goulet playing Sherlock Holmes, but he and Watson (Hammond) are unable to keep a straight face, despite how childish the humor in the sketch is; Goulet and Michael Crawford (Jackman) singing "The Music of the Night" from The Phantom of the Opera but Goulet becoming jealous and punching Crawford in the stomach when Crawford sings better than him; and a drunken Goulet falling off the rooftop set while singing "Up on the Rooftop" with a Christmas elf (Kattan). At the end of the ad spot, Goulet accidentally lights the set on fire when he leaves one of his cigars burning.
• Sears Photography Studio: Mr. Peterson (Kattan), his wife (Gasteyer), her mother (Dratch) and their two kids buy a Christmas card family portrait package from a seller at Sears (Sanz). Their photographers, Francisco and Paolo (Meyers & Jackman) are tempermental fashion photographers who have been forced by the court to take portraits at Sears as the result of cocaine charges. Paolo insults and abuses the Petersons, but Francisco tries to keep him under control. They try to get Mrs. Peterson to strip, pull Grandma out of the picture, try to get rid of one of the twins and tell Mr. Peterson to hide his face with his hands. When nothing works, Francisco offers to replace the Petersons with "a handsomer family." The Petersons refuse, but after Paolo takes the picture, the final prints show a family of models.
• God Gave Me Everything: Mick Jagger song.
• Weekend Update
  • Kattan portrays Geraldo Rivera in a recreation of an event in which Rivera was almost shot by a sniper.
  • To warn viewers against over-drinking during the holiday, Fallon introduces Drunk Girl (Richards), who alternates between telling Fallon she hates him and coming on to him. She also speaks in non-sequiturs and alternately laughs and cries.
• Hello Dolly - Vincent von Vance's Creations: Deana Nolan-Gray's (Gasteyer) guest is noted dollmaker Vincent von Vance (Jackman), whose babies are very popular, but who is disappointed it does not get him laid. He introduces his creations "Bwowin' Bubboos," who is blowing bubbles after eating soap; "Francie Pantsie," a baby girl in a French costume holding a bottle of wine; and "Jist Discoverin'," a little boy with his hand down his pants.
• Mick and His Reflection: In his dressing room, Jagger talks over with his mirror reflection (Fallon) how he can keep his act fresh after so many SNL appearances. Jagger settles on pointing his fingers.
• The Fortress of Solitude: In a recreation of the scene from the 1978 Superman: The Movie, Superman (Jackman) finds a crystal in his Fortress of Solitude which leads him to the discovery of his father Jor-El (Ferrell). After Jor-El's introduction, father and son have awkward small talk. Jor-El puts Kal-El's mother Lara (Rudolph) on, but her awkward small talk implies she thinks Kal-El is gay. She puts Jor-El back on, but he is unable to directly address the issue. With the next crystal, Kal-El finds his grandmother (Dratch).
• Vision of Paradise: Mick Jagger song.
• The Donatella Versace Show: Supermodel Donatella Versace does a talk show from her bathroom "because I need to be near the toilet." Her first guest is Stephen Cojocaru (Fallon), an overeager homosexual stylist from People Magazine, but Versace hates him and kicks him out. She then introduces her "best friend who is also a puppet," Mr. Pantyhose Leg, followed by male model Ingo (Jackman), who is staying at Versace's house and is auditioning for a role in the new Star Wars film. The show is crashed by Carl Lagerfeld (Jagger), who has lost weight on his new diet. He and Versace trade insults to Versace's delight until Lagerfeld throws a hair dryer into Versace's tub, but she survives. Versace kicks everyone except Ingo out of her bathroom and ends the show.
• Christmas Kangaroo: Jackman tells of an Australian Christmas tradition, the Christmas Kangaroo, who fights children's fathers for gifts. In a flashback, Jackman recalls his father (Ferrell) beating the Kangaroo until the year he lost and was sodomized. After a few more defeats, Jackman's father seems to be throwing the fights and is concerned with his appearance as the Kangaroo is arriving. When young Jackman (Meyers) is 17, he defeats and kills the Kangaroo in front of his father and sister (Dratch).

Notes

"Live from New York, It's Saturday Night!"

• Darrell Hammond as Al Gore.

Music

• Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, performed by Hugh Jackman: This Christmas standard was made popular when Judy Garland sang it in the 1944 film Meet Me in St. Louis. Jackman (joined by Poehler, Rudolph, Gasteyer and Dratch) sings a completely straight version of the somewhat melancholy carol in his monologue.

• Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer, performed by Elmo & Patsy: A 1979 novelty hit in which a drunken grandmother is killed by Santa's reindeer. It is part of DJ Jonathan Feinstein's Christmas mix in the "Jarret's Room" sketch.

• White Room, performed by Cream: The psychedelic 1968 single off Cream's album Wheels of Fire became one of the band's biggest hits. It is heard in this episode "synched up" to the 1970 Christmas special Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town in the "Jarret's Room" sketch.

• Eye of the Tiger, performed by Survivor: The 1982 rock anthem written for the film Rocky III, used in the scenes in which the titular boxer is seen preparing for his match. It has thus become a common sports and workout theme, which is why Jeff is caught flexing to it in the "Jarret's Room" sketch.

• Sleigh Ride, performed by Will Ferrell: One of many Christmas songs sung by "Robert Goulet" in the "Robert Goulet All-Holiday Special" sketch, "Sleigh Ride" is a Christmas standard written by Leroy Anderson in 1948.

• The Little Drummer Boy, performed by Will Ferrell: Another Christmas standard, this one co-written by Harry Simeone in 1958.

• Proud Mary, performed by Will Ferrell: The 1969 single written by John Fogerty and performed by Creedence Clearwater Revival on their album Bayou Country, the single was a smash hit both for CCR and for Ike and Tina Turner, who recorded a much more theatrical, baroque version in 1971. It has nothing to do with Christmas, but Goulet's version seems to be a cheesed-up variation on the Turners' cover.

• The Music of the Night, performed by Will Ferrell and Hugh Jackman: A song from the 1986 musical The Phantom of the Opera with music by Andrew Lloyd Webber. It became the signature song for Michael Crawford, who portrayed the titular Phantom in London's West End and on Broadway.

• Up on the Rooftop, performed by Will Ferrell and Chris Kattan: A moderately famous Christmas song which is also one of the older secular songs, as it was first written (as "Up on the Housetop") in the 1860s, estimated to be a few years after "Jingle Bells." However, it is one of the first songs about Santa Claus to be written in the United States.

• Hurry Home for Christmas, performed by Will Ferrell: Not a well-known Christmas song by any stretch, it is, however, the only song from the "Robert Goulet All-Holiday Sketch" for which the real-life Goulet has been noted for recording.
  

  

  Mick Jagger pauses before performing "Vision of Paradise."

• God Gave Me Everything, performed by Mick Jagger: The fourth track on Jagger's 2001 critically-acclaimed fourth solo album, Goddess in the Doorway. Although called a "solo album," Goddess in the Doorway featured a number of guest musicians, including Lenny Kravitz, who both produced and was featured on the vocals of "God Gave Me Everything." Kravitz is not heard in the SNL version.

• Vision of Paradise, performed by Mick Jagger: This first track of Goddess in the Doorway featured Rob Thomas of Matchbox twenty on the vocals on the album, but not on SNL.

• Let It Snow, performed by Johnny Mathis: A Christmas standard (although it makes no reference to Christmas) written in 1945. Johnny Mathis' version can be heard in the background of the flashbacks of the "Christmas Kangaroo" sketch.

Trivia

The Show

Gore talks to Rumsfeld, and Hammond talks to himself.

• Triple Threat: While Dana Carvey played a dual role in the cold open sketch several times during the 1992 election (as both President George Bush and H. Ross Perot), resident impressionist Darrell Hammond in this episode pulls off what may be a record with a whopping three impressions in one cold open sketch: Vice President Dick Cheney, former Vice President Al Gore and Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld.

Allusions and References

• Dark Side of the Moon: In the "Jarret's Room" sketch, Jarret claims the classic Christmas special Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town "totally matches up" with the song "White Room" by Cream. This is a reference to the supposed synchronicity between the classic 1939 film The Wizard of Oz and Pink Floyd's 1973 album The Dark Side of the Moon, which became famous with a reference on the Internet in 1995.

Quotes

• Al Gore: I just think it'd be one more way to allow people to finally get some closure on this election.
  George W. Bush: Al, no offense, but I think right now, people are focused on the War on Terror. They're way past this election stuff. I know I am.
  Al Gore: (Sighs.) Well, George, with all due respect, you're the one holed up in the White House. I'm out with the people, and let me tell you, whenever people come up to me, they talk about the campaign and the extremely narrow election and how I feel about it.
  George W. Bush: Well, come on, you're Al Gore. What else are they gonna talk to you about?

• Jimmy Fallon: A Virginia man is facing drug charges after a state trooper found over a thousand dollars worth of marijuana in his son's diaper bag. This is either the case of a very bad father or a wonderful, magic baby who poops weed.

• Hugh Jackman: And that's how the Christmas Kangaroo's reign of terror ended. Now, sure now on Christmas morning, all the Australian boys and girls might not get toys, but they're spared the horror of watching a giant marsupial take their old man to Brown Town.