Outrageous Fortune/Jared Mason

Jared "Munter" Mason
Outrageous Fortune
Actor	Tammy Davis
First Appearance	1x01 - Slings and Arrows
Last Appearance	—
Series Billing	Billed
Notable Episodes	—

Quotes

• Van: What does ironic mean?
  Munter: It means how come the guy with the job has never got any money for any piss?

• Munter: There’s a big fish up there with my name on it. Big snapper.
  Van: It’s a fish called Munter?
  Munter: That’s a cool name, eh?
  Van: What’s my fish called?
  Munter: Van. Van Fish. And it’s friends with the other fish, the Munter.
  Van: Yeah, and they like, swim around…
  Munter: Just cruising, cos that’s the kind of fish they are.
  Van: Yeah.
  Munter: The Van Fish and the Munter Fish.
  Van: And they’re cool, man.
  Munter: Of course they’re cool, cos they’re in the water.

• Munter: They’re big those Tongans, and no strangers to violence – cos their mums have been smacking them from when they was little.

• Munter: What I’m saying, Mrs West, is that I think I have this sixth sense I didn’t know I had before – ‘cause I look at Draska and I go ‘no f--king way are you pregnant.’ In heat, maybe, but not pregnant. I think maybe it’s a Maori thing.

• Munter: Chicks are way more devious than guys.

• Munter: (on pregnancy tests) What if the whole person is a false negative? Can that throw the test off?

• Munter: It’s an old Maori cure my Mum handed down to me from my koro.
  Van: Cure for what?
  Munter: Anything. Vampire bitches who want to steal your wairua.

• Munter: You just mimed rooting your own sister. You have to think about these things before you do them.

• Munter: (on crayfish) They’re the gold of the sea. They put the kai in kaimoana.

Later…

• Munter: Crays, man, they’re like the chicken of the sea, man.
  Van: I thought they were the gold of the sea.
  Munter: They’re also the chicken, cos if they go off, they make you hurl your guts and squirt your ring.

• Munter: Hey, education is good. Up to the bit where you get expelled. Then you get to taste freedom.

• Munter: That was Van’s way – 'cos he can dump on command. You need to work out your own way. But more importantly, you must work out the obstacles in your path and remove them.

• Munter: You gotta face your fear, man. Or that fear will rule you.

• Munter: It must be hard. Trying to remember the truth when it’s not actually the truth. It’d be easier if you could just lie, eh?

• Munter: It’s moments like these…you need one of my mum’s cookies.

• Munter: (about Aurora) Bro, you’ve got to forget her. You’ve got to empty your mind. Empty. Your. Mind.

• Munter: (to Van) I love you, man. But I really hope I’m never stuck in a life or death situation and you’re the one who has to figure out how to rescue me.