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Saturday Night Live/Ron Nessen/Patti Smith Group

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Ron Nessen/Patti Smith Group
Snl-117.jpg
Season 1, Episode 17
Airdate April 17, 1976
Production Number 020
Written by Anne Beatts
Chevy Chase
Al Franken &
Tom Davis
Lorne Michaels
Marilyn Suzanne Miller
Michael O'Donoghue
Herb Sargent
Tom Schiller
Rosie Shuster
Alan Zweibel
Directed by Dave Wilson
Gary Weis (film)
David Massar (home movie)
← 1x16
Anthony Perkins/Betty Carter 		1x18 →
Raquel Welch/Phoebe Snow, John Sebastian
Saturday Night Live — Season One

Ron Nessen/Patti Smith Group is the seventeenth episode of the first season of Saturday Night Live, and the seventeenth episode overall. It is the first appearance on the show by both its host and musical guest.

Guest Stars: Ron Nessen (Host), Patti Smith Group (Musical Guest)

Special Guests: Bill Crystal (Comedian)

Home Movie Cast: Peter Dupré (Singing Man), Doug Brooks (Man at Urinal), Jeff Heath (Man at Urinal), David Velardocchia (Man at Urinal)

Contents

Episode Breakdown

  • The Dead String Quartet: The Dead String Quartet (violinists Aykroyd and Newman; viola player Morris; cellist Chase) sits dead on the stage, not playing their instruments nor moving. At last, the first violinist slumps over onto the second violinist, which causes a domino effect which sends the cellist toppling over the edge of the stage.
  • Ron Nessen's Monologue: President Gerald Ford and announcer Don Pardo share the job of introducing Nessen. He says hosting a comedy show is similar to a press briefing. He says he has learned to use several phrases, which include, "What the president really bumped into was," and, "What the president mispronounced was." He also jokes about Ford's clumsiness. He is interrupted by a page with a phone call for him. Over the phone, Nessen learns Ford is watching the show, and although Betty finds it funny, he has been fired.
  • Super Bass-O-Matic: A commercial spokesman (Aykroyd) does a commercial for a new product which liquidizes fresh bass into a tasty drink, as attested to by a testimonial actress (Newman).
  • Nessen Briefs President Ford: In the Oval Office, President Gerald Ford (Chase) plays golf with a tennis racket. Nessen is there to ask permission to host Saturday Night, and Ford grants the permission, but he refuses to appear. Throughout the conversation, Ford talks to his stuffed dog Liberty, tries to put a vase in his pocket and signs his own hand. Ford also puts on a football helmet to show his athletic prowess. Nessen further briefs Ford on how to wake up in the morning, what traditions are appropriate for Easter and how to use a telephone.
  • Fluckers Jam: A spokeswoman (Curtin) does an ad for "Flucker's Jam," with the slogan, "With a name like Flucker's, it's got to be good," in reference to the fact that only a very good jam would have a name that bad. She is interrupted by another spokesman (Chase), who pushes a jam called Nose Hair. They are interrupted by a third spokesman (Aykroyd) with Death Camp Jam and a fourth (Belushi) with two brands called Dog Vomit and Monkey Pus. The second spokesman returns with Painful Rectal Itch, so the third tops him with Mangled Baby Ducks. The fourth spokesman claims to top them all with 10,000 Nuns and Orphans Who Were All Eaten by Rats jam. At last, a fifth spokesman (Morris) enters with a jam with a name so disgusting, it cannot be said on television, and the other spokesmen admit he has what must be the best jam.
    "Catch a bass, remove the hook and drop the bass—that's the whole bass—into the new Super Bass-O-Matic '76." Aykroyd shows off the newest kitchen appliance.
  • Gloria: Patti Smith Group song.
  • Press Secretaries Throughout History: Leonid Pusnov (Nessen), press secretary for Czarina Catherine the Great, delivers the news of Catherine's death in a horse riding accident and says she should henceforth be known as "Catherine the Mashed."
  • Lie Detector Test: Julie Nixon (Radner) and David Eisenhower (Aykroyd) are heard from off-screen as Nixon gives Eisenhower a lie detector test, but only the lie detector results are seen. The needle reveals Eisenhower is lying when he denies spilling Nixon family secrets to the press. When Eisenhower says he does not want a divorce, the needle jumps so much, it goes off the chart. Nixon says she cannot divorce Eisenhower, because "it'd be terrible for Daddy's image."
  • The New Army: Lt. Col. Scott Shuman (Belushi) is seen air guitaring to rock music in an army recruitment office plastered with photos of rock stars and movie stars when the commercial starts. He takes a hit off a marijuana joint and describes the army as more laidback than it used to be. He also says the army gets "the best stuff an army helicopter can carry in from all over the world." He describes all the cool toys the army has and how much fun being in the army is. As he finishes, he collapses off his chair to the floor.
  • Weekend Update.
    • After Chase delivers his introduction line, President Ford interrupts to deliver his own variation, in reference to Chase's impression of Ford. Chase transitions to a story on the president's "identity crisis."
    • Newman reports from Madrid on the "continuing death earlier this year of Generalissimo Francisco Franco." She interviews Franco's press secretary, Mr. Boyardee (Nessen), who says Franco's condition is stable. When Newman points out Boyardee has no accent, Boyardee says Franco doesn't have one, either.
    • Emily Litella speaks out against making a big deal over the "1976 presidential erection." She says the 1976 president is not dead and does not need a monument erected to him yet. When Chase reveals the discussion is over the election, Litella withdraws her comments.
  • The Berkeley Collection: A WU commercial for a line of wallpapers, in which former yippie leader Jerry Rubin promotes wallpapers mimicking graffiti-covered walls featuring 1960s protest slogans.
  • Garbage: A short film which opens with trash collectors discussing whether they'd rather be called "garbage men" or "sanitation workers." The film moves on to show mounds and mounds of garbage collected from New York City, and the sanitation workers talk about finding human bodies and valuables in the trash. The film follows the garbage scows to the dump, where the workers give a tour, introduce the junkyard dog Dumpy and talk about the smell, which they say is not so bad when it's not summer.
  • Autumn Fizz: An elegant spokeswoman (Radner) does a commercial for Autumn Fizz, "the carbonated douche." As her date (Chase) arrives, she describes the different varieties of Autumn Fizz: strawberry, lemon and egg cream.
  • Tomorrow - Ron Nessen: Tom Snyder (Aykroyd) interviews Nessen, but he ignores serious questions and asks about Washington taxis not having meters, reading the news and parties in Washington. Nessen describes the White House as being similar to a children's daycare center. After Nessen's interview, Snyder introduces "Jimmy Carter's campaign manager" (Morris), who is wearing a giant Mr. Peanut costume.
  • Home Movies - Singing at the Urinal: A man (Dupré) enters a public men's room and walks up to the urinal. As he does his business, he sings an old Gregorian chant-style song. He is soon joined by the man (Brooks) who has been at the urinal before him. A third man (Heath) walks up to the urinal and joins in the madrigal, soon joined by a fourth (Velardocchia). The scene disturbs a janitor, who exits the men's room as soon as he enters, and a man in the stall, who sneaks out behind the singing urinators.
  • Press Secretaries Throughout History: Julius Marcellus (Nessen), press secretary for Oedipus, announces the queen mother is henceforth to be known as the queen wife. He also suggests graffiti artists who write, "Up against the wall, motherlover," should change their slogans.
  • Supreme Court Spot Check: Dwayne Gretson (Chase) and his fiancée Rhonda Gwen Phillips (Curtin) are fooling around in bed when the justices of the Supreme Court (Aykroyd, Belushi, Morris, O'Donoghue, et al.) burst in. The justices say their recent decision means certain sexual acts performed by two consenting adults in private may be illegal, so they are checking up to make sure nothing improper happens. Dwayne and Rhonda say they are engaged and introduce themselves. The justices tell the couple to go ahead and act natural, but the justices watch them under the covers and discuss the legality of the couple's acts. After conferring, the justices tell the couple to "lose the high heels," so Dwayne and Rhonda each throw a pair of shoes onto the floor. They go back to work, but one justice pulls Dwayne's hand out for "unlawful fondling," while another slaps his hand. They confer over the minutiae of the sex act while one apologizes and blames the situation on "the Nixon appointees." Rhonda asks about the lack of women on the court, and the justices sidestep the answer. The justices march out singing, "We're the Supreme Court."
  • Press Secretaries Throughout History: John Quincy Ross (Nessen), President Thomas Jefferson's press secretary, denies Jefferson owns slaves and praises the Louisiana Purchase, which includes southern Arizona, future home of the Dinah Shore Women's Golf Classic.
  • Billy Crystal Standup: Crystal says he was raised by a couple who owned a jazz record company, so he grew up with many of the greats of blues and jazz. He slips into character as one of the jazz musicians he met up with again recently. The musician calls Crystal "Face" and repeats the phrase, "Can you dig it? I knew that you could." The musician talks about Crystal's success on television, his dental work and performing in Italy with Benito Mussolini's son. When the musician is called away to perform, he tells Crystal never to quit but advises he "get a teaching gig to fall back on."
  • Try-Hard 1-11: A commercial for a battery in which five senior citizens are forced to stand in a field overnight with their pacemakers on. The next morning, only the senior with the Try-Hard 1-11 powering his pacemaker is cheery and awake.
  • Misconceptions: Nessen hosts a show which refutes common clichés. This episode deals with the expression, "Too many cooks spoil the broth." Several French chefs (O'Donoghue, Aykroyd, et al.) stand around a pot of broth arguing, but when the French waiter (Belushi) enters and tastes the broth, he declares it the best broth ever.
  • My Generation: Patti Smith Group song.

Notes

"Live from New York, It's Saturday Night!"

  • President Gerald Ford as himself, recorded in Washington, DC.

Music

The Patti Smith Group performs "Gloria."
  • Gloria, performed by the Patti Smith Group: The first track on Smith's debut 1975 album Horses, Smith's cover of Van Morrison's group Them's 1964 single "Gloria." Smith's album is widely considered one of the first punk rock albums, and that is on display in her group's frenetic, rebellious performance here of what was then a rock staple. Her added lyrics in the first and last line, "Jesus died for somebody's sins but not mine," seemed shocking in 1976 when they were performed the night before Easter Sunday with the White House Press Secretary standing merely a few feet away. Smith references this when she ends the song with Easter greetings. Her Group's performance on this episode was many TV viewers' first introduction to the spirit and sound of punk rock, which had been growing in popularity on the underground scene in New York, Los Angeles and London but had rarely been seen on television prior to that time.
  • Blowin' in the Wind, performed by Bob Dylan: Released as a single and on his 1963 album The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan, "Blowin' in the Wind" marked Dylan's shift early in his career from traditional folk songs towards the protest songs which would characterize his album later that year, The Times They Are A-Changin' . In fact, the song, with its musings on peace and freedom, would become one of the key protest songs of the era and would be a high watermark in the rise of popularity of folk music, which would make a star of Dylan. The song can be heard on the soundtrack at the start of the sketch "The Berkeley Collection."
  • Garbage, performed by Bill Steele: In 1969, Steele wrote and recorded this protest folk song about garbage and pollution in society—both literal and metaphorical—as seen through the case study of a "Mr. Thompson." His version can be heard on the soundtrack during the film "Garbage."
  • My Generation, performed by Patti Smith Group: Although it did not appear on Horses, Smith used her cover of this classic the Who single from their debut 1965 album of the same name to close most of her live performances until 1978. She first released it as the B-side of her single "Gloria." Her closing, in which she and her group smash their instruments as Smith says the word "goddamn" and makes a comment about censorship, was not cut from future rebroadcasts.

Trivia

The Show

  • Hail to the Chief: With this episode, President Gerald Ford becomes the first non-cast member to deliver the show's opening line. He is also the first future, former or current President of the United States to appear on the show, and as of 2007, he is the only sitting president to appear on the show.
  • MIA: Cast member George Coe is not credited and does not appear in this episode. Cast member Michael O'Donoghue is also not credited, but he does appear briefly in the sketches "Supreme Court Spot Check" and "Misconceptions." Muppeteers Frank Oz, Jerry Nelson, Richard Hunt and Jim Henson are credited during the closing credits, but their sketch was cut due to "technical difficulties," as was a musical performance by Toni Basil.
  • Acting Debut: Ron Nessen is the first non-actor, non-comedian, non-musician to host the show. In seasons to come, politicians, activists, athletes and even a contest winner would host the show. Nessen is also the first member of the White House staff to host the show.
  • First Appearance: The sketch "Lie Detector" has Gilda Radner portray former First Daughter Julie Nixon for the first time, although she is not seen on-screen. The "Tomorrow" sketch is the first appearance of Dan Aykroyd in his impression of broadcaster Tom Snyder.

Behind the Scenes

  • The Actor of the United States: Producer Lorne Michaels went to Washington, DC to film President Gerald Ford's filmed contributions to the show. Although at first nervous about working with the president, when the first take did not turn out right, Michaels realized he should treat the president as though he were any other actor.
  • Franken's Gambit: Writer Al Franken met host Ron Nessen on a campaign stop and, after learning he was a fan of the show, suggested Nessen host. Michaels scolded Franken for stepping outside his place as writer in inviting a host but nonetheless allowed Nessen to host the show.

Allusions and References

  • Ron Ziegler: Multiple people throughout the episode—including the page during the monologue and Chevy Chase during the good nights—call host Ron Nessen "Mr. Ziegler." This is a reference to former President Richard Nixon's Press Secretary Ziegler, who was later criticized for his role in encouraging Nixon to obfuscate the facts and remain in office during the Watergate scandal which ended Nixon's presidency.
  • "Flucker's" jam was a parody of a then-current commercial for the real-life Smucker's Jam, which ended with the tagline "With a name like Smuckers, it's got to be good."

Memorable Moments

  • The Patti Smith Group performs "Gloria" and "My Generation."
  • Super Bass-O-Matic.

Quotes

  • Commercial Spokesman: Super Bass-O-Matic '76, it's clean, simple, and after five or ten fish, it gets to be quite a rush.
  • President Gerald Ford: Good evening. I'm Gerald Ford, and you're not.
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