Saturday Night Live/Jerry Seinfeld/David Bowie

Jerry Seinfeld/David Bowie
Season 25, Episode 1
Airdate	October 2, 1999
Production Number	1116
Written by
Directed by	Beth McCarthy Miller
← 24x19 Sarah Michelle Gellar/Backstreet Boys	25x02 → Heather Graham/Marc Anthony
Saturday Night Live — Season Twenty-Five

Jerry Seinfeld/David Bowie is the first episode of the twenty-fifth season of Saturday Night Live, and the four hundred and sixty-eighth episode overall. It is the second time that Jerry Seinfeld has hosted the series and the fourth time that David Bowie has acted as the musical guest.

Guest Stars: Jerry Seinfeld (Host), David Bowie (Musical Guest)

Special Guests: A.J. Benza (Eriq LaSalle), Rick Ludwin (Himself)

Oz Guest Stars: Dean Winters (Ryan O'Reily), Harold Perrineau, Jr. (Augustus Hill), J.K. Simmons (Vernon Schillinger), Lee Tergesen (Tobias Beecher)

Episode Breakdown

• Reform Party Tryouts: The Reform Party is looking for a new leader now that Ross Perot (Oteri) has realized that he simply isn't crazy enough to be the Reform Party candidate for president. He interviews Pat Buchanan (Parnell) and Donald Trump (Hammond) for the job by asking them questions on the issues like their stance on "Martians" (which seems to be code for black people) and if they have weird ideas. Buchanan offers "throwing out pro-Nazi ideas" and Trump offers to reinvent the White House by turning it into a large casino. Then, suddenly, Jesse Ventura (Ferrell) bursts through a wall and body slams Buchanan, declaring that he'll be the next president of the United States.
• Jerry Seinfeld's Monologue: Seinfeld gives a rundown of his typical day, which involves him drinking juice, watching television shows like Wings until eating "meat on a stick" from a cart for dinner, and then watching a Spanish version of Wings in the bathtub.
• Dilon/Edwards Investments: An investor (Parnell) with Dilon/Edwards talks about how he trusts his money with Dilon/Edwards, who have a website at the unfortunate "www.clownpenis.fart" because they waited too long to get into the internet game.
• Morning Latte - Dr. Jedodiah Purdey: Tom Wilkins (Ferrell) and Cass Van Rye (Oteri) complain because Rye's hairdresser quit when Rye called him a "dirty brown he/she," and their producer left the show when Wilkins parked his SUV across two parking spaces. They have brought in Eli Van Rye (Parnell), Rye's husband, as producer for the day. They also talk about The Sixth Sense and how Governor George W. Bush is a "coke monkey" before moving to their guest, Dr. Jedodiah Purdey (Seinfeld). Purdey wrote a dieting book called "The Realm," where you can only eat fruit and meat but no bread or cheese. The hosts keep asking if they can eat pizza or calzones on the diet, which causes Purdey to storm off stage.
• Mary Katherine Gallagher - Dating Lenny Schwartzman: At the Catholic school, Sean Patrick Flannery (Ferrell) and two students (Gasteyer and Oteri) prepare for their basketball game against Yesheva University. Flannery introduces Avram Horowitz (Kattan), Manut Greenburg (Meadows) and Lenny Schwartzman (Seinfeld), the star players of the Jewish school's team. The two girls excitedly wonder what it would be like to go out with him, but they don't dare ask him out. They leave and Mary Katherine Gallagher (Shannon) does ask him out on a date, but he turns her down until his teammates are out of earshot. They struggle with how different they are but ultimately decide to fool around and defy tradition.
• Javis Home Security Systems: A man (Ferrell) talks about how nervous he was when it came time to change his baby's first diaper. He begins to change the diaper of the baby and says that dry baby disposable diapers are the best, but he is interrupted by the baby's real mother (Gasteyer), who chases him out a window. A graphic for Jarvis Home Security Systems appears on screen, and the announcer explains that there are "a lot of dirty freaks out there."
• Action 8 News Watch: In the promo for the 11:00 Action 8 News broadcast, anchors Connor Stands (Seinfeld) and Taffy Davenport (Gasteyer) preview several sensationalized news stories, such as a household item filled with lethal poison and a dead president from an unspecified country. Hale Breezy (Parnell) also previews his "weather round-up" in which he'll explain how to keep fatalities minimal during a major storm, and Sorrell Matthews (Meadows) warns about how bugs in the area will start to carry an almost inescapable plague but can be avoided with any normal bug spray. However, Davenport follows that report with another vague report about how one bug spray can cause neurological damage. The teaser is rounded out with Roger Sorkin (Ferrell) telling the audience to panic.
• Weekend Update:
  • Weekend Update looks back on the events of the Millennium. In the first part, the announcer (Parnell) profiles how sharks have done the same thing over the entire past thousand years.
  • In a point/counterpoint argument about campaign finance reform, Jerry Seinfeld and Jerry Seinfeld (Fallon) argue about the Gap and how they're inventing new clothing. Seinfeld then complains about the commercials because they're about "sullen teenagers barking orders at you" instead of dancing. The two find so much common ground that they go off to see a movie, and Quinn decides that maybe in the future they shouldn't have someone debate himself.
• Thursday's Child: David Bowie song.
• Seinfeld in Oz: In the series finale of Seinfeld, the cast of the series were sentenced to a year in prison for violating a good Samaritan law. However, after Jerry Seinfeld made a series of "sarcastic quips" to guards, he was sent to a maximum security prison called Oz. Several situations from Seinfeld are acted out—such as the incident from The Contest (except substituting masturbation for male rape)—using actors from the OZ television series, including Dean Winters, Harold Perrineau, Jr., J.K. Simmons and Lee Tergesen.
• How's My Driving, Dial 1-800-EAT-S---: While driving on the interstate, a couple (Ferrell and Gasteyer) are cut off by a truck that nearly runs them off the road. The driver of the car speeds up and calls the number on the truck's bumper sticker, which looks like a joke sticker that says "1-800-EAT-SHIT." The call goes through however, with the operator (Seinfeld) telling him with vivid description to eat shit. He demands to speak to the operator's supervisor (Parnell), who tells him the same thing. Eventually, the operator manipulates him into actually going through with it. At the end of the sketch, the number "1-800-FU" appears before it it is cut off by NBC.
• And a Pizza Place: Several NBC executives (Meadows, Parnell, Shannon and actual executive Rick Ludwin) attempt to figure out what to do with the time slot recently vacated by Seinfeld when another executive (Ferrell) announces that he struck a deal with the producers of Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place to bring "And a Pizza Place" to the network now that the series has dropped it from the title. After six weeks, the ratings for the show drop off heavily, but they rejuvenate the series with a slice of ricotta cheese pizza. The producer Giuseppe (Sanz) agrees to make it, and it goes on to be awarded for a Primetime Emmy Award. At the ceremony, Andy Dick (Kattan) awards the Emmy to David Hyde Pierce, and the piece of pizza is eaten by Eriq LaSalle (Benza).
• Rebel Rebel: David Bowie song.
• Killing Him Slowly: A victim (Seinfeld) is tied up and worked over by a couple of thugs (Fallon and Sanz) until he passes out. When the third thug (Ferrell) can't get a pulse, they nurse him back to health until they can reinterrogate him in the chair. This happens several more times with the main thug punching the victim, killing him and resuscitating him suddenly until he's dead for good.

Notes

"Live from New York, It's Saturday Night!"

• Will Ferrell as Minnesota governor and former professional wrestler Jesse Ventura.

Trivia

The Show

• Recut: The original broadcast of this episode went far over the allotted time for the episode, causing 90-minute repeats of the episode to be drastically recut to fit into the time slot. In the recut version, the last three sketches and the final musical performance are shuffled into this configuration: Pizza Place, Killing Him Slowly, Rebel Rebel, 1-800-EAT-S---. The good nights and closing credits are removed entirely from this rerun.

• Final Appearance: The sketch "Reform Party Tryouts" marks Cheri Oteri's third and final appearance as H. Ross Perot during her tenure at SNL. The Texas billionaire and Reform Party founder and presidential candidate had formerly been a popular recurring impression for Dana Carvey. As of 2007, Oteri's final appearance is the final appearance of anyone impersonating Perot on the show.