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Saturday Night Live/Boston Teens
The Boston Teens are Pat "Sully" Sullivan and Denise "Zazu" McDenna, young kids with thick Southie accents who go to parties where they drink (although they are underaged) and make out, played by Jimmy Fallon and Rachel Dratch on Saturday Night Live. In addition to those two key characters, Horatio Sanz appeared in all but one of their sketches as their dimwitted, alcoholic friend Frankie Hilbert, and Ben Affleck appeared three times as Donnie Bartalotti, Sully's best friend.
The Boston Teens are one of the more popular recurring sketches of the late 90s/early 2000s era of SNL. These teenagers seem to have few interests beyond underaged drinking, making out and baseball—especially the Red Sox. All twelve sketches feature Pat "Sully" Sullivan and Denise "Zazu" McDenna, portrayed by Jimmy Fallon and Rachel Dratch, respectively. In fact, Dratch is herself a native Bostonian, and she helped develop the characters and write the sketches with then-head writer (and Dratch's good friend and advocate) Tina Fey. It became most popular in episodes hosted by Bostonians, such as Ben Affleck or Conan O'Brien. In fact, Affleck had a recurring role as Donnie Bartalotti, Sully's best friend.
Sully and Zazu are boyfriend and girlfriend, and it is very difficult for the two to keep their hands off one another. They even trade insults as a sort of foreplay. However, Zazu has a more checkered sexual past than Sully, although she tries to keep the details of this past a secret from Sully. Nonetheless, when she is drunk, she is often known to slip and start making out with someone other than Sully—even his best friend Donnie. That notwithstanding, when she is caught, she often seems genuinely remorseful and is willing to say whatever it takes to keep Sully. Fortunately for her, Sully can't keep his hands off her. Donnie, meanwhile, seems interested in Zazu, but in his final appearance (29x15 - Ben Affleck/N.E.R.D.), it appears his interest is more likely in Sully than in Zazu, as he responds to Massachusetts allowing gay marriage by entering a gay marriage.
In addition to Sully, Zazu and Donnie, the sketches almost always feature Frankie, a cohort of the pair marked by his long hair, small shades and tendency to drink anything containing alcohol, up to and including nail polish remover. They are also joined by their friend Tommy, who is the unseen camera man in all of their sketches (which are framed as home movies).
Besides Zazu and alcohol, Sully is known to be a huge fan of the Red Sox. His favorite player is shortstop Nomar Garciaparra, whom he calls "Nomah." In almost every sketch, Sully wears one or more items of Garciaparra apparel—usually a T-shirt. In one sketch, from 26x02 - Kate Hudson/Radiohead, Sully is even thrilled to learn Garciaparra is having sex with his sister.
- 25x05 - Garth Brooks/Chris Gaines: "Hickory Farms."
- 25x08 - Danny DeVito/R.E.M.: "Metal Shop." Sully and Zazu talk with their metal shop teacher, a former roadie for the Cars.
- 25x13 - Ben Affleck/Fiona Apple: "Donnie's Party."
- 25x19 - Britney Spears: "Colonial Museum."
- 26x02 - Kate Hudson/Radiohead: "Sully's Home." Sully and Zazu try to record an audition tape for Survivor, but they are interrupted by Sully's sister Bernadette. Sully is annoyed until he meets Bernadette's date, "Nomah!"
- 26x14 - Conan O'Brien/Don Henley: "Cumberland Farms." Sully and Zazu try to score booze from the famous Massachusetts liquor store chain. They run into overaged friend Eric Pierson, and it is revealed Zazu once had a relationship with him. Features the second appearance of Affleck as Donnie.
- 27x05 - Gwyneth Paltrow/Ryan Adams: "Sully's Formal."
- 27x13 - Jonny Moseley/Outkast: "Sully's Ski Trip."
- 28x01 - Matt Damon/Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band: "Springsteen Concert."
- 28x16 - Bernie Mac/Good Charlotte: "Fenway Park Opening Day."
- 29x02 - Justin Timberlake: "Sully's Birthday."
- 29x15 - Ben Affleck/N.E.R.D.: "Donnie's Wedding."
Quotes & Catchphrases
- Zazu: You're retahded.
Sully: You ahe. (They make out.)
- Sully: Nomaaaaaaaah!