Red Dwarf/The Rimmer Experience

Constructed by Kryten as a form of psycho-therapy for Lister (using Rimmer's diary as a guide). It is a virtual-reality simulation that takes the form of an amusement park ride. See the series seven episode Blue for more information.

Everyone boards the car and the ride begins. Out of the darkness a larger-than-life likeness of Arnold J. Rimmer appears and gives a full Rimmer salute. He then delivers a glowing assessment of Arnold Rimmer and how remarkable he was.

The ride continues, stopping at various dioramas/skits, each depicting Rimmer as the saviour of the group: fearless, competent, and adored by all. Lister and the Cat are portrayed as incompetent cowards who wet their pants at the first sign of danger. At this point Lister is disgusted and asks to leave, but Kryten assures him that the best bit is coming up.

Sure enough, out of nowhere a two-foot-tall, self-animated marionette (with a full-size Rimmer head) appears in front of the car. The marionette and an army of others just like it dance and sing an upbeat, musical number (in Rimmer's voice) ...

If you're in trouble, he will save the day.

He's brave and he's fearless, come what may.

Without him the mission would go astray.

He's Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer.

Without him life would be much grimmer.

He's handsom, trim, and no one's slimmer.

He will never need a Zimmer.

He's Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer.

More reliable than a garden strimmer.

He's never been mistaken for Yul Brynner.

He's not bald and his head doesn't glimmer.

Master of the wit and the repartee.

His command of Space Directives is uncanny.

How come he's such a genius. Don't ask me.

He's Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer.

He's also a fantastic swimmer.

And if you play your cards right,

then he just might come round for dinner.

The music fades away and the car exits the ride through doors which have the words "Toodle Pipski" painted on them.