Red Dwarf/Cat Religion

Mundane details of Dave Lister's life, distorted by three million years, became the cornerstones of the cat religion, which was taught to young cats in "kitty school".

• Lister's cat, Frankenstein was the Holy Mother from which all cats are descended.
• Lister's ordeal in the stasis chamber is chronicled as: The Holy Mother who was saved by Cloister the Stupid, who was frozen in time and gaveth of his life that we might live.
• Lister's plan to return to Earth and buy a farm on Fiji becomes: ... who shall returneth to lead us to Fuscha, the promised land.

Here are a few tidbits from Holly's translation of the cat Holy Book:

• And Cloister spake, lo I shall lead you to Fuscha, and there we shall open a temple of food, wherein shall be sausages, and savory doughnuts, and all manner of bountiful things ...
• And those who serve shall wear hats of great majesty, yea though they be made of coloured cardboard and have humourous arrows through the top.
• The cat civilization polarized and fought wars over what colour the hats should be: red or blue. Most of them were killed.
• They eventually worked out a truce. Each faction built an arc and left Red Dwarf, leaving the old and the stupid behind (which included Cat's father).
• The Red arc followed the sacred writings and flew straight into an asteroid.
• The Blue arc flew ever onwards.