King of the Hill/The Bluegrass Is Always Greener

The Bluegrass Is Always Greener
Season 6, Episode 9
Airdate	February 24, 2002
Production Number	6ABE14
Written by	Norm Hiscock
Directed by	Tricia Garcia
← 6x08 Joust Like a Woman	6x10 → The Substitute Spanish Prisoner
King of the Hill — Season Six

The Bluegrass Is Always Greener is the ninth episode of the sixth season of King of the Hill, and the one hundred thirteenth episode overall.

Starring: Mike Judge (Hank Hill, Boomhauer), Kathy Najimy (Peggy Hill), Pamela Segall Adlon (Bobby Hill), Brittany Murphy (credit only), Johnny Hardwick (Dale Gribble, Manager), Stephen Root (Bill Dauterive, Earl)

and Toby Huss (Kahn Souphanousinphone)

Also Starring: Lauren Tom (Minh and Connie Souphanousinphone)

Special Guest Voice: Charlie Daniels (Himself)

Special Guest Voice: Vince Gill (Boomhauer's Singing Voice)

Special Guest Voice: Yakov Smirnoff (Himself)

Plot Overview

After learning that Connie has a knack for bluegrass music, Hank and the guys form a band for her to participate in a contest in Branson, Missouri.

Notes

Stinger Quote

Hank: Hmm. I like it.

Trivia

The Show

• Based on Dale's comment about sharing a birthday with Van Cliburn, this would mean his birthday is July 12.

Goofs

• When Hank bends down to talk to Connie backstage, Boomhauer and Dale are standing to the left in that and the next subsequent shot, but by the third shot, they are no longer visible.

Quotes

• Bill: I can't stand it anymore! I'm gonna grab that violin from Connie and smash it against a fire hydrant.

Hank: Bill, she started four-and-a-half beers ago. She can't possibly go on much longer. Please, Lord, give her a cramp. If it's thy will.

• Bill: I want to hear "Puff, the Magic Dragon". Play that one. I like it. Play it. "Puff, the Magic Dragon, lived by the sea..."

Hank: Bill, do you have any idea what that song is about? It's about a dragon. We're grown men.

• Connie: My dad has this joke. "How do you get into the Van Cliburn Summer Orchestra? Practice." Well, it used to be a joke. Now he just screams it.

• Bill: Who's Van Cliburn?

Dale: Texas' own Van Cliburn is a classical pianist with a bustling summer camp in Fortworth. (off the guys' reaction) We share a birthday.

• Hank: Kahn's making her play classical, but the girl's got a natural talent for bluegrass. Everybody in the alley thought so. And you know Boomhauer is a music snob.

• Hank: But I think fiddling could take Connie even further than Carnegie Hall. That's if she grows up pretty enough. Those Dixie Chicks have really raised the bar.

• Hank: I bought this level at a yard sale. I'm afraid the price was too good to be true.

• Earl: They got these fiddle contests there. I used to judge them till they found out I was taking bribes.

• Kahn: That inbred music is designed so only people with six fingers can play it!

• Hank: Come on, Dale. You don't need two suitcases.

Dale: They're my jumpsuits. That's what the people come to see.

• Connie: Dad, I got to go practice some more.

Kahn: Yes, go practice.

Connie: Okay, dad. I love you.

Kahn: Stop talking! Go practice!

• Dale: Hey, it's ten to 5:00. You think it's too late to get seats for the 5:00 Yakov?

Hank: Well, maybe you can get Yakov to write you an autograph. "Dear Dale, hope the show was worth throwing away that young girl's musical career. Yours truly, Yakov."

Dale: Can do, will do.

• Kahn: Bill Monroe? The Foggy Mountain Boys? Minh, have you seen this pornography?

• Hank: Where have you guys been? I've had to deal with the Bluegrass Brothers all by myself. They've been staring at me, twiddling their beards and trying to psych me out.

• Dale: Well, I saw that comin'. Yet I did nothing to stop it. Why do I fear success?

• Hank: Aw, I'm a jackass.

Kahn: Stop stating the obvious!

• Manager: The Dale Gribble Bluegrass Experience? You're up.

Bill: They're not here. They're... locked in a vault.

Manager: What?

• Hank: Why do we do it, Kahn? Why do we push Connie so hard?

Kahn: I do it because she has a lot of talent and I want what's best for her. You do it... Well, frankly, I'm flummoxed. Back off. Push Bobby.

Hank: He doesn't like sports. He doesn't play an instrument. There's nothing to push him into.

Kahn: Yeah, he gonna be a loser, all right.

Hank: Now, hold on. Bobby's not a loser. Say that again and I'll pop you in the chops.

Kahn: Okay, okay. One hillbilly starts swinging, soon the whole town join in.

Hank: For your information, a lot of people think Bobby's funny. The kid's only 13 years old and he's already sold a joke to this Yakov Smirnoff.

Kahn: Oh, yeah?

Hank: Yeah. Uh, "In America, they put 'In God We Trust' on the money. In Russia, they have no money."

Kahn: That's funny. I hate Russia.

Hank: Yeah. Yeah, that is a good joke. It's Branson-good.