King of the Hill/Returning Japanese

Returning Japanese
Season 6, Episode 21 & 22
Airdate	May 12, 2002
Production Number	6ABE20/6ABE21
Written by	Kit Boss & Etan Cohen (Part 1) Alex Gregory & Peter Huyck (Part 2)
Directed by	Allan Jacobsen (Part 1) Anthony Lioi (Part 2)
← 6x20 Dang Ol' Love	7x01 → Get Your Freak Off
King of the Hill — Season Six

Returning Japanese is the twenty-first and twenty-second episodes of the sixth season of King of the Hill, and the one hundred twenty-fifth and the one hundred twenty-sixth episodes overall.

Starring: Mike Judge (Hank Hill, Boomhauer), Kathy Najimy (Peggy Hill), Pamela Segall Adlon (Bobby Hill), Brittany Murphy (Luanne Platter), Johnny Hardwick (Dale Gribble), Stephen Root (Bill Dauterive)

and Toby Huss (Cotton Hill)

Also Starring: David Herman (), Amy Hill (Stewardess, Michiko), Keone Young (Male Flight Attendant, Producer, Valet, Security Guard)

Also Starring: (Part 1) Ashley Gardner (Didi Hill), Jonathan Joss (John Redcorn), Annie O'Donnell (Editor), James Sie ()

Special Guest Voice: David Carradine (Junichiro)

Special Guest Voice: (Part 2) Seiko Matsuda (Reporter, Japanese Girl)

Plot Overview

Cotton expresses regret for what he did in Japan and when Peggy pitches a redemption story to get a free trip, they travel to Tokyo where they discover his true motives.

Notes

Stinger Quote

Bobby: Texas in the hiz-ouse!

Music

• Cheryl Lynn- "Got to Be Real"

• KC & the Sunshine Band - "That's the Way (I Like It)"

• Rick James - "Super Freak"

• Seiko Matsuda - "Kimono Beat"

• Sir Mix-a-Lot - "Baby Got Back"

Arc Advancement

Characters

• It's implied Peggy's musing columns have been bumped off for ad space.

• It's revealed that Cotton had a relationship with a Japanese woman at the end of World War II with whom he unknowingly conceived a son, leaving Hank to discover he now has two half-brothers.

Trivia

The Show

• Junichiro looking like a Japanese Hank implies much of his looks come from Cotton. That he is also revealed to have a narrow urethra refutes an earlier claim Cotton made that Hank got it from his mother.

Allusions and References

• The title of the episodes is a play on the Vapors song "Turning Japanese".

Memorable Moments

• Bill's vision in the sweat lodge where he's naked riding a scooter that sends him flying into a giant pie. Dale then proceeds to have a vision of his own where he apparently just had sex with a giant mantis, which decapitates him, leaving him to wonder what it could mean.

Quotes

• Dale: Ah, Memorial Day. The day when our war heroes are honoured by even the most liberal of media.

• Didi: Hank, I'm worried. Cotton's been acting very stressed all week. Maybe you could take him out for some guy time. Nothing gay, though.

• Hank: I don't know. He'll want to go to a strip club. And he always tips the girls to put their whatnots on my head.

• Bobby: And you can tell The Bystander it's called "The Widow in the Wallet". Where once the soldier killed, he now makes peace. How about it, mom?

Peggy: Wow. There is really no story in that at all.

Hank: I sat next to that man in a sweat lodge wearing nothing but a towel, boxer shorts, and a bathing suit. And then he goes and spills his guts to Bobby?

Peggy: Well, this is not about Bobby. This is about a man who, for 50 years, denied any human emotion so he could hide from his haunting memories of war, ruining his relationship with his son until fate gives him one final chance to fight - No, it's still not an interesting story.

• Hank: Taking my dad to Japan? It's a 20-hour flight. And we'd have to get passports. And what if he falls into his old habits of, you know, killing 'em?

• Dale: I have no formal opinion on the Japanese. I know that must disappoint you.

• Hank: Would you fellas mind taking in my newspaper while I'm gone? If you let 'em stack up, it's just like telling the burglars "Please rob me since I make enough money to subscribe to a paper."

• Hank: Now, listen up. I'm only gonna read this once. "Hi. My name is Ladybird. I like long walks, my arthritis medication, and two cups of kibble a day. I'll try to outsmart you and get three cups, but I know you're too clever for that, Miss Platter."

Luanne: I don't know, Uncle Hank. She did write this letter and everything.

Hank: Trip's off!

• Cotton: She's a Japanese!

Hank: Dad! Shh. They're called Asians now.

• Cotton: What if she knows what I done? When they get angry, they can fly at you! I saw that Crouching Tiger programme.

• Stewardess: Sir, you are in an exit row. Will you be able to assist other passengers in case of an emergency?

Hank: Absolutely.

Stewardess: Is your son under 13? He has to be 13 or older to sit in an emergency row.

Hank: He is 13.

(the stewardess turns away before Hank gets her attention again)

Hank: To be honest, he's a great kid. But in an emergency, I don't know.

Bobby: Dad!

Hank: I'm sorry, Bobby.

Bobby: What can I say? He's right.

• Dale: (tries opening door) It's locked. (tries window) Also locked. This place is just begging to be robbed.

• Peggy: Now, you've killed Germans, you've killed Japanese. Which do you prefer?

• Peggy: Hank, your father is acting like a maniac. He's just sitting there with his mouth shut!

• Peggy: There is nothing to worry about! He is just fighting his urge to kill you!

• Valet: The cologne has displeased you.

• Peggy: This is terrible! This is not the story I sold to the Arlen Bystander and already wrote on the plane!

Bobby: But this story's even better.

Peggy: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Cripple returns to Japan filled with regret. Not for the 50 he killed, but for the one he loved. Yes! I would not be surprised if they turned this article into a movie!

Hank: Hollywood's not gonna wanna make a picture about an adulterer.

• Hank: How could you not know you had another son? How many women have you slept with? Five? Six?

Cotton: Two hundred and seventy-three. But this ain't about sex. No, sir. It's about love... and sex.

• Cotton: Every day a Japanese angel would drain my shins of puss and fill my heart with love. It was magical... then excruciating... which made it all the more magical.

• Michiko: How is everything else?

Cotton: Well, it's been a crazy 50 years. After I got back to America, I had a nice juicy porterhouse, cooked medium-rare, just the way I likes it. Then I knocked around a bit. Eventually, I got tired of working for jackasses and decided to make an honest living installing asbestos into schools and hospitals. Got married twice. One ugly, one hot. And had two sons. Hank and my baby, Good Hank. Tell me, Ko-Ko, how have the years treated you?

Michiko: Thank you for asking. I worked as a washerwoman to support my son - your son - Junichiro. After war, I ate rice hulls. And for 10 years I raised a child out of wedlock alone. This arrangement afforded me many opportunities for difficulty. Then I found a man who would marry such a woman. My Wataru.

• Cotton: I don't usually cry unless someone's pulling out my fingernails like you fine folks did so many years ago.

• Junichiro: With all respect and honour, I would not be saddened if both you and your father went to Hell.

• Luanne: I'm gonna tell Uncle Hank I learned how to clone at the junior college. You two better back me up.

• Cop: Open up! Police!

Dale: Uh, this is Hank Hill, occupant, and I cannot open the door as I am making love to my wife Peggy.

Bill: We're doin' it!

• Michiko: Now I have something to remember you by. This photo. Oh, and our son.