King of the Hill/Hank's On Board

Hank's On Board
Season 10, Episode 1
Airdate	September 18, 2005
Production Number	9ABE14
Written by	Sivert Glarum & Michael Jamin
Directed by	Allan Jacobsen
← 9x15 It Ain't Over Till the Fat Neighbor Sings	10x02 → Bystand Me
King of the Hill — Season Ten

Hank's On Board is the first episode of the tenth season of King of the Hill, and the one hundred eighty-seventh episode overall.

Starring: Mike Judge (Hank Hill, Boomhauer), Kathy Najimy (Peggy Hill), Pamela S. Adlon (Bobby Hill), Brittany Murphy (credit only), Johnny Hardwick (Dale Gribble), Stephen Root (Bill Dauterive, Old Guy, Coast Guard Officer)

Also Starring: Ashley Gardner (Nancy Gribble), David Herman (Cap), Breckin Meyer (Joseph Gribble)

Plot Overview

Hank and Bill learn Dale and Boomhauer's separate Memorial Day trips have been together to get away from the others. However, Hank soon discovers that it's himself that's been dampening their fun.

Meanwhile, Bobby buys a metal detector and he and Peggy use it to comb the beach.

Notes

Stinger Quote

Dale: (laughs) "Nacho" cheese.

Trivia

Allusions and References

• Dale and Boomhauer's boat is named Queeg, which is the name of one of the main characters in Herman Wouk's 1951 novel The Caine Mutiny.

Goofs

• The black and orange dynamic of Boomhauer's speedo change frequently throughout the episode.

• The probability of Dale's cigarette igniting the gas leaking from the ship is very low, leaving Hank's to most likely fail.

Quotes

• Bill: Oh, God. Both Dale and Boomhauer are going away on the same weekend. Sometimes I wish I was a worm so I could cut myself in half and crawl in both their suitcases.

Hank: That'll do, Bill.

• Bill: So, all of your trips have been a lie? You guys were fishing? Well, if your goal was to make Bill Dauterive look like a fool, then you have succeeded.

Dale: Bill, you have to believe me, that wasn't our goal. It was just a byproduct.

• Bobby: Give me the list. I can go to the store.

Peggy: Sorry, Bobby. This isn't one of your video games where if you lose the grocery money you can kill someone and get it back.

• Hank: Huh. I don't know what changed. When I was in the car, everything was so tense. Huh.

Peggy: Wait. I see what's going on here.

Hank: Yeah, all these years, it wasn't Bill they were avoiding. It was me.

Peggy: Oh. I just got that "nacho cheese" joke. But you think so? That's terrible.

• Hank: Bossy? If I wasn't "bossy," those guys would be in trouble all the time.

Peggy: Yes, but nobody likes being mothered all the time. Except for Bobby. He really responds to it.

• Dale: You see, in 1898, the Spanish frigate Juan Sebastian was sunk in these waters. Its cargo - 50,000 gold pesetas - was never recovered. Through our exhaustive efforts over the last 20 years, Boomhauer and I have determined exactly where it isn't. But the ocean, she can't hold her secrets much longer.

• Peggy: This is a public beach, sir. We all have the right to find other people's belongings and claim them as our own.

• Hank: Peggy, you were right! You were right about everything!

Peggy: I know, Hank, but I need you to be more specific.

• Hank: I can't believe I'm gonna die because of you knuckleheads! Prepare for an eternity of me kicking your ass!

• Dale: Easy, Boomhauer. You're not exactly smelling like roses, either. If you hadn't goaded Bill into cannonballing, this deadly chain of events never would have been unleashed.

Bill: I only did what I was told!

Boomhauer: Hey, man, dang ol' screw you, Gribble.

Dale: Oh, blame the blamer. Classy, guys. Real classy.

• Bill: I have a confession, too, Hank. In a moment of weakness, on a dark, rainy night I slept with Peggy!

Hank: No, you didn't, Bill.

Bill: I know.

• Hank: Wait, wait, give me that cigarette!

Dale: Never! You'll have to pry it from my cold, dead hands. Come back in five minutes.

• Coast Guard Officer: Mister Hill, I gotta hand it to you. That was pretty smart thinking. We saw that fire from quite a ways.

Hank: No, I'm just the one who forgot to lower the ladder. Boomhauer's the one who broke open the gas line. Dale's the one who always carries an emergency match. And Bill, uh, well, Bill didn't make things worse.

Dale: Nice try, Hank. We know we're screw-ups. If it wasn't for you, we would have been dead years ago.