King of the Hill/Bobby on Track

Bobby on Track
Season 9, Episode 14
Airdate	May 8, 2005
Production Number	9ABE13
Written by	Aron Abrams & Gregory Thompson
Directed by	Tricia Garcia
← 9x13 Gone with the Windstorm	9x15 → It Ain't Over Till the Fat Neighbor Sings
King of the Hill — Season Nine

Bobby on Track is the fourteenth episode of the ninth season of King of the Hill, and the one hundred eighty-fifth episode overall.

Starring: Mike Judge (Hank Hill, Boomhauer, Dooley), Kathy Najimy (Peggy Hill), Pamela S. Adlon (Bobby Hill, Teacher, Chane Wassanasong, Alejandro), Brittany Murphy (credit only), Johnny Hardwick (Dale Gribble, Fun Run Official, Lucas), Stephen Root (Bill Dauterive, Ref)

Special Guest Voice: Phil Hendrie (Coach Palmer, Announcer, Salesman)

Also Starring: Dennis Burkley (Principal Moss), Breckin Meyer (Joseph Gribble, Hoffman), Bru Muller (Big Jock), Timm Sharp (Sprinter)

Plot Overview

A coach brings Bobby onto his track team. Hank is dismayed when he learns he's using Bobby to shame his other players into performing better.

Notes

Stinger Quote

• Dale: Oh, the humanity.

Quotes

• Bobby: I hope she likes "The Rocks of Rainey Street". It's all I could come up with on the way to the bus.

• Principal Moss: Just wanted to remind everyone to sign up for the "Fun Run" on Saturday. Have a good time and raise money to buy the school somethin' nice or essential. I usually try not to motivate kids this way, but if all your friends are doin' something, shouldn't you be doin' it, too?

• Hank: When you cross that finish line, I'll be right there with the video camera. Even though it brings out certain instincts in you.

• Bill: It's official. I need to start wearing suspenders.

• Bobby: Are you interested, Mister Dauterive?

Bill: Interested in what, Bobby?

Bobby: The stuff I just said.

Bill: Tell it to me again. I like it when people talk to me.

Hank: Bill!

• Dale: Sorry, I'm sponsoring Joseph.

Bobby: He's not running.

Dale: Just the same.

• Hank: You even got Joe Jack to pledge and he doesn't even pay his alimony.

• Hank: So you just quit. You didn't even make it one K?

Bobby: It's a "Fun Run", dad. I ran until it stopped being fun.

• Bobby: Wow, there sure was a lot of toast left over.

Peggy: That is what happens when people decide to stuff themselves on juice.

• Hank: Bobby, this is a pedometer. It measures how far you walk. By the end of today, I want five kilometres on there. That's 3.1 miles.

Bobby: You know what I'd really love to do? Learn how to fix a car.

Hank: Get moving.

• Joseph: I know how you can get kicked off the team. Take a javelin and throw it into the crowd! I mean, it would do something.

• Hank: Yep. Bobby's gonna be wearing sweatpants for the right reason.

• Dale: Still, I must say, track and field doesn't really seem like a full sport. It's more like leftover scraps from other sports.

• Hank: They're just giving you the business, Bobby. In football, we used to make the new kids breathe through Bill's sock.

Bill: I was happy to contribute.

Dale: And, oh, yeah, Boomhauer used to do this hilarious bit where he told me my mother died. It took the sting out of it when she actually did.

• Hank: Is there any lesson sports can't teach?

• Hank: You competed while another guy sat on the bench? There's a bottle of sport drink in the garage I've been saving. Let's open it.

• Coach Palmer: Now you've tasted chocolate and failure. Which is more bitter?

Sprinter: Um, I like chocolate more than failure. That means I should eat more chocolate? I - I don't understand.

• Hank: Boy, I sure wish I could have gone to Bobby's meet today. Why do I always have to be Mister Strickland's character witness?

• Hank: See, I don't punish you to make you miserable. I punish you to make you happy.

Bobby: I'm gettin' it!

• Peggy: Jump long, long jumpers! Get some altitude, pole-vaulters! Boy, this sport does not lend itself to good cheers.

• Hank: Bobby's doing the high hurdles?! Sometimes it takes him two tries just to get on the couch.

• Bill: You think Bobby's bad? Imagine if we had a child. (laughs) I'd love him anyway.

• Hank: You know, I'm not one of those dads who gets mad if the coach doesn't play my son. Matter of fact, Bobby shouldn't be anywhere near a hurdle. He's embarrassing himself.

Coach Palmer: No, he's embarrassing the guy he's replacing.

Hank: You're using Bobby to shame the good athletes?

Coach Palmer: Since I started using Bobby as the Stick, the team's been on fire. We haven't lost a meet.

Hank: Huh. Well, that sounds good, but it's making me feel kind of sick.

• Hank: Well, I guess it's nice that the coach calls Bobby his "go-to guy," but feels like one of those fairy tales where the genie gives you a wish, but you ask for it in slightly the wrong way and you end up with a solid gold head or something.

Peggy: The correct strategy with genies is to wish for more wishes.

• Hank: In a way, life was simpler when Bobby was making collages out of People magazine.

• Hank: Bobby, you don't motivate anyone by being lousy. You motivate 'em by giving a heartbreaking speech or dying or something.

• Hank: I wish Bobby wasn't such a butterfingers.

Peggy: Bobby! Pretend the baton is the remote!

• Hank: Well, Bobby, you lost a huge lead and it took a bunch of guys falling down, but you did it.

Bobby: I think I'm gonna throw up.

Hank: Go ahead, son. You've earned it.