Father Ted/Speed 3

Speed 3
Season 3, Episode 3
Airdate	March 27, 1998
Written by	Graham Linehan and Arthur Mathews
Directed by	Graham Linehan (location), Andy De Emmony (studio)
← 3x02 Chirpy Burpy Cheap Sheep	3x04 → The Mainland
Father Ted — Season Three

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Speed 3 is the third episode of the third season of Father Ted, and the nineteenth episode overall.

Starring: Dermot Morgan (Father Ted Crilly), Ardal O'Hanlon (Father Dougal McGuire), Frank Kelly (Father Jack Hackett), Pauline McLynn (Mrs. Doyle)

Guest Starring: Pat Laffan (Pat Mustard), John Rogan (Mr. Fox), Eamon Morrissey (Father Beeching), Arthur Mathews (Father Clarke), Gail Fitzpatrick (Mrs. Millet)

Plot Overview

The milkman is fired after Ted comes forward with evidence that he's been sleeping with the women on his route. Dougal steps up to take over, but the disgruntled milkman has planted a bomb on the truck.

Trivia

Allusions and References

• The title and bulk of the plot is a parody of the action film Speed and its sequel Speed 2.

Quotes

• Mrs Doyle: Hello, Father. Oh! Pat was wondering if he could put his massive tool in my box.

• Father Ted: I know what's going on, Pat Mustard. There are some very hairy babies on Craggy Island and I think you are the hairy baby-maker.

Pat Mustard: Oh, yeah? Well, I think that you would, uh, need proof if you want to make that sort of an accusation. And I'm a very careful man, Father. A very careful man!

Father Ted: Except when it comes to taking precautions in the bedroom.

Pat Mustard: You wouldn't be advising the use of artificial contraception now, Father, would you?

Father Ted: Yes, I... No, I... If you're going to be... I - I, of course you - you... Just feck off!

• Father Dougal: Those women were in the nip!